My Angel
by theycallmelokiontumblr
Summary: Bella Swans moves into Buffy Summers old house. When she meets Angel and Spike, and Edward comes back, her life is turned upside down while Angel, Spike, and Edward fight for Bella's heart.
1. Welcome to the Hellmouth

As I sat in my room in reunited with my mom, Phil, and warmth, I somehow started to miss Forks. My friends were there, Charlie was there, Jacob was there, my klutziness was always relevant there, but the only thing that wasn't there was Edward. Charlie sent me away to live with my mom in her new place because I was "too depressing". Charlie thought that moving away from everything I loved would help me. Emphasis on the 'everything I loved'. I had gone through this whole experience one year ago: Moving away from the people you love, going to live with another parent in a different, new place, and being hopelessly alone. There wouldn't be anyone that I remembered from my childhood here, and I don't think I would _ever_ see another vampire or Edward ever again. I was living with my mom and Phil until they turned the little shed in the backyard into a little house for me.

"So how do you like it Bella?" my mom said sneaking up behind me and putting her arms around my pale neck.

"It's um, it's really nice mom. Really big." I said referring to my room. It was a yellowish white color with a few windows. It was big, a lot bigger that my old rooms. The whole house was big. There was a few extra rooms though, which made me wonder why my mom and Phil bought such a big house for just three people.

"Yes! I knew you would love it!" she replied giving me a neck hug. Then she looked around the room and left to unpack more things into the basement with Phil. "Oh, and if you don't mind, me and Phil are going out to dinner tonight? Do you wanna join us?"

"Um, no. No thanks mom." I replied. I went downstairs and opened the fridge. Nothing but fruit. So I took out a red apple and chomped into it. It was sweet and juicy, just like Edward's kisses. I thought about Edward every single second. The longest I could go without thinking about Edward was five minutes. Even in my sleep my dreams tormented me with Edward. Edward was always there. He would be kissing me, but then he would be swept away. I would scream after him, but the only person who was there was Charlie. Poor Charlie. He had to listen to my nightmares every night. I finished the apple and sat down on the couch-less living room. I turned on the tv; nothing good was on.

Now I had to think of something to do here. Sunnydale looked very depressing. Did you know that it had 12 cemeteries and 43 churches? Sunnydale was an average California town, but I had never heard of a town with 43 churches. I guess many people were religious here. So, I reached out for my jacket and I was off to look around town. I saw the high school I would be going to, a zoo, a park, and the main street. But as I looked to the right, I saw a blinking sign that said "The Bronze" with a line of people waiting to go in. It looked like a club. I wasn't really into that kind of stuff, but it was better than sitting in my room and thinking about- Edward. I couldn't believe that I didn't think about him for an hour. Going into "The Bronze" might take my mind off of Forks and Edward for a little while more.

The Bronze was massive. There was a bunch of people ranging from their teens to late twenties dancing, drinking, or just listening to a band that was playing onstage. I decided to go over to a kiosk for food and drinks.

"What will it be?" A cute boy with a gray shirt asked from behind the counter

"Um, do you have any water?" I asked shyly

"A dollar twenty. Thanks" he replied as I swapped my money for water.

I went over to a small table by the door of the club and silently drank my water and watched the band. Suddenly every single guy in the band onstage turned into Edward or Jacob. Then so did everyone else in the club. Except for one man with pale skin, dark brown hair, and a serious but soft face. I looked into his dark brown eyes for a moment, but then quickly got up and left before he got any closer to me. He looked creepy. There were a lot of guys in that bar that were a lot older than the girls they were talking to. _They could rape them and then kill them, or just kill them. Maybe that's why there's so many cemeteries here,_ I thought. I had been through this before: Back in Forks, a group of guys had tried to touch me and corner me in, _But that's when Edward came in and saved me, _I thought, silently crying. Then I felt tears running down my cheek as I walked down the sidewalk. Then, I heard footsteps behind me. When I turned around, It was the same man from the club. _Had he been following me the whole way home?_ I thought. I walked a little further, but when I stopped an turned around to check if he was still following me, he was directly in front of me.

I froze on the cement. I did a quick evaluation: Purse around my shoulder. Check. Pepper Spray? Check. Edward? Space. When I got the courage to move, I slapped him.

"What the hell is your problem!" I asked him as he got hold of my shoulders

"Wait, wait! Hold on!" he said in an angelic harmonized voice that was firm but gentle. He somehow got me to stop struggling and took a few steps back. "Thank you." He said adjusting his long, leather jacket.

"What do you want from me?" I pleaded

"I just want to know something." He said putting his hands up. I put my hands into fists at my sides if he decided to be a pervert and ask some kind of sexual question. "What do you know about werewolves?" He asked. My eyes widened. I thought that only Jacob and some other Quileute's could transform into werewolves.

"Wha-what?" I said shaking the thought of Jacob the first time I saw him transform out of my head

"I'm terribly sorry. I was mistaken. I just thought that-"

"How do you know about werewolves?" I demanded, looking deep into his eyes. After a while, he spoke again.

"Can we go and talk somewhere else private?" He asked looking around. I thought about bringing him to my house. But then I decided the park would be better. Sunnydale had about six of those, and big ones.

"Sure." I replied, about to ask him where a park was.

"I know the perfect place. It's been vacant for a long time." He said walking in front of me. We started walking until we came to my house. I didn't understand it though.

"Um, how do you know where I live?" I asked starting to feel uncomfortable

"You live here?" He asked puzzled "Whatever, can I still come inside?"

"Um," I thought again. I looked at him, he seemed harmless. "Okay." I let him in and led him up to my room. I couldn't believe what I was doing. He had some kind of control over me. I sat down on my bed and he closed the door behind him and put his back to it. Then he yelped and jumped away from the door.

"What happened? Are you okay?" I asked leaping to his side. As he made noises of agony, I looked at my door to check for nails or sharp things; but all that was on there was a silver cross. I quickly took off his shirt to see if there was any wound. There was a cross-burned into his strong, pale back. I didn't understand. How could the cross burn onto his back? It was like a horse being stamped on its hind with a metal rod and a symbol on the end. I chewed on my lip as I sat him down on my bed, pondering how that happened. But, being me, I bit too hard on my lip and it bled. Then suddenly he looked at me with a face like a demon with yellow eyes and sharp, pointy teeth.


	2. Bye Buffy

I was sitting by my fireplace, reading War and peace when Buffy came in. Her eyes were puffy, tear filled, and she looked like she needed a hug. "What's wrong?" I asked her without getting up from the floor.

"Um," Buffy said, fighting away tears "We're leaving."

"Who's leaving?" I asked starting to get up

"My-my mom and me. She found out about me being a slayer and she's moving us away to Maine." Buffy said sniffling. I froze. Buffy was leaving? She was the first person I had truly loved in centuries. I don't know if I could live without her. I know that I had to leave a few times and that she had done all of those things with Spike, but I still, and always would love her. When I got the strength to move again I embraced her. Her arms clung to my neck, never wanting to let go. Then a horn honked from outside twice. Buffy looked up at me, tears parading down her cheeks.

"I have to go now Angel. I love you." She said looking me in the eyes. I gave her one last, long, passionate kiss goodbye, and she was gone. It was light outside, but I pulled back the curtain to see for certain what I thought I knew. There was a moving truck outside, and Buffy getting into a car. She looked back at me and I stepped out to look at her better.

"Angel!" Buffy yelled at me as her mother drove away. The sun had hit me. I suddenly burst into flames and I ran back inside to my sanctuary without light. After I poured water on myself, I lay down on my couch saying Buffy repeatedly, waiting for her to come back and heal me. The pain of her absence was a billion times worse than the burns on my skin.

I hung around for a few years, lurking the streets, killing any vampire that tried to hurt someone and keeping out an eye for Buffy; wondering if she would ever return. I would walk around by her house a lot, but the house was always vacant. I thought about catching a plane or a bus to Maine, but I knew that I was bound to get hungry or get hit by sunlight during all that time.

There was one night that changed my life though. I was hanging around the Bronze, and I smelled something familiar. I waited for a moment, and it smelled like a were wolf. Oz? Willow? They had moved away a long time ago though. But there was another smell mixed in with it. It smelled like another vampire. I quickly followed the scent. It lead me to a teenage girl with long, brown hair, brown eyes, slightly pale skin, and a scared disposition drinking water. Just as I was about to talk to her, she fled the club. I waited a few minutes and then followed her scent so that she wouldn't notice that I was following her. She was now walking in the suburbs, on Buffy's old street. I started to catch up; I was about twenty-five paces behind her. She tripped a few times, but I hid so that she couldn't see me. She was very clumsy. She obviously wasn't a slayer, and the werewolf and vampire smell weren't thick enough to make her a werewolf or vampire. Then she suddenly turned around and saw me. She sped up, and then so did I, almost right behind her. Then she turned around and fainted.


	3. Angel part 2

The smell of her blood was intoxicating. I had smelled thousands of blood, but hers was just so, needed and mouthwatering. Suddenly the pain of the cross on my back had lifted, and my face transformed into Angelus. She stared at me with her brown eyes. In my mind, I imagined biting into her long pale neck and tasting her wonderful blood. I had even pondered changing her into a vampire. It had been so long since I had eaten a human and a girl at that. I wanted her blood; no, I _needed_ it so bad! I hadn't had any pigs' blood for a few days.

Suddenly I found myself biting into her neck. Angel wanted to stop, but Angelus yearned for more of her blood. It was so delicious. I didn't let one drop escape my mouth. Then, she dropped onto her bed. _I drank too much! _I thought, kicking myself. I looked around for bandages or something to cover up her neck to stop the bleeding, and me. I luckily found a box of big tan ones, and put two on her neck. I was about to leave, but then I thought, _I can't just leave her here! She could be traumatized, what if she saw me again?_ So I quickly wrote down a note telling whoever lived with her that she was going to a friend's house for the night. _They probably don't know her handwriting_, I thought as I put it on the door. I picked up the girl and took her to my place. Luckily, no one was walking where I was, so no one noticed a shirtless man carrying a teenage girl who might be dead.

When I pulled back the curtain to my place, I set her down on my white satin bed and covered her up. I checked for a heartbeat; there was still a beating heart thank god. I pulled back the bed sheets to look for some form of identification. Her wallet was in her jacket pocket. It was black leather with twenty-five dollars in it. On the back her ID read: Bella Marie Swan, 18 years old. Then I pulled the covers over her slightly limp body and left her to regain her strength. _She looked so innocent, how could I have bitten her?_ I scolded myself.

About an hour later, I heard a noise like a stuffed pig screaming. I followed the noise into my room. It was Bella. Her nightmare, I suspected, was very violent and loud. I rushed to her side and tried to shake her awake. She opened her eyes slightly and looked at me.

"Edward…Edward…" She said clinging to me. She must have thought that I was Edward, whoever that was. So I squeezed behind her into the bed and let her hold me, or "Edward". She looked at me with slightly opened eyes again, and kissed me. Then she fell back to sleep in my arms.


	4. Lovers

I woke up in a dark room with my arms hooked around something. I looked over and saw the man who had attacked me sleeping beside me. I was too scared to scream, so I took my hands off of his neck slowly, making sure he wouldn't wake up and checked under the covers. _Phew, all of my clothes are still on, he didn't sleep with me._ I thought being relieved. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. He woke up. I rolled out of the bed from fight and hit the floor with a clunk.

"Are you okay Bella?" He said rushing over to me. I was scared when he said Bella. How did he know my name? I sat on the floor for a while staring at him. His face always had the same expression: Alone and unwanted

"Im not going to bite!" He replied. I gave him a look. "Again, that wasn't supposed to happen to you." He said picking me up.

"Are you a-a-" I stuttered. He leaned over to my ear.

"Vampire?" He whispered seductingly. I stared at the wall as I felt my neck. There were two massive bandages on it.

"How didn't I feel the venom?" I asked, not taking my hand away from my bandages

"Because you're not a vampire. I just bit you." He replied, looking at me with his hypnotizing brown eyes. I then sunk to the ground in a depressed manner. He followed me to the cold, cement floor. "Why do you look so glum? I thought that you would be relieved that I didn't kill you." He said putting a finger on my chin and turning my face towards him.

"Because I wanted to be a vampire. I wanted Edward." I replied, getting even more depressed thinking about Edward.

"Who is this Edward? Because last night you had a nightmare and thought that, I was Edward. You uh, you kissed me too." He replied

"Edward is my- my ex boyfriend. He was a vampire too. His brother and I got into a bad situation and he left with his family so that I couldn't get into more danger. He was the most amazing person I ever knew. Every night since Edward's been gone I have tormenting nightmares about him and I." I started to cry. I needed to feel his masculine arms around me again. I wanted to go back to the meadow and lie down with him again, get into the moment. Just thinking about him made me feel his arms again. However, as I opened my eyes I saw that it was the man's muscled arms. He let go as I looked at him. His body was perfectly sculpted. He had a six-pack and a chiseled chest. He was like Edward and Jacob put together. Even though I wouldn't be dealing with it anymore, I wouldn't have to choose Edward or Jacob with him around. "What is your name?" I asked getting closer to him.

"Angel." He replied. Those two syllables had my heartbeat uncontrollably. I leaned closer and our lips met. It was like fire and ice. His lips melted into mine. They tasted so delicious. His tongue traced the outside of my lower lip, begging to enter. I opened my mouth like a door in winter. I felt air enter my mouth that was tainted with the smell of blood. His tongue started to explore my mouth as I kissed him deeper and harder. I put my hand behind his neck and head. My hand felt his soft brown locks as I led him onto the bed I started to take my shirt off when Angel pulled away and stepped back. _Doesn't any vampire want to have sex with me?_ I pouted._ Edward doesn't, now Angel doesn't._

"What's the problem with vampires and sex?" I asked to anyone listening.

"I also loved another person before you." Angel said sitting down beside me. "Her name was Buffy; she lived in your house and was your age. I loved her so much. On her birthday, we decided to prove our love to each other. I have a soul, and when I have one moment of true happiness, my soul gets taken away and I become evil. I can't risk letting you go through the pain Buffy did…" He said turning away from me


	5. Memories of Love's past

**THANK U THANK U 2 EVERYON WHO READ, REVIEWED, FAVORITED, AND ETC. HERE'S A SHOUT OUT 2: jjsaywat97, .LOVE 3, Emmetts-Embers01, miaforever, I LOVE Sparkley Scars, and sassycat2007. Love you all! **

I remembered what happened the last time I had sex. I was so in love with Buffy. That's why we did it I suppose, it was spontaneous. I never thought that the outcome of our love would do something to me. But it did.

It was Buffy's birthday. She was turning seventeen, and a lot had been going on lately. Spike and Drusilla had been plotting to make a demon to kill Buffy and me. The demon was in pieces, and luckily we intercepted one before Spike and Dru could make the demon. I was walking along with Buffy on the docks with the demon part in a box on my shoulder as she lay her head on my shoulder. After I gave her present, vampires jumped us. I felt horrible; Buffy's birthday was full of vampires, demons, and all that big bad. I took on one of the vampires as she took on another, kicking and punching him in all the right places. Then, another vampire took the box with the demon arm and pushed Buffy over the ledge. Out of instinct, I called her name and jumped in the freezing water to save Buffy. I saved her luckily and we went to the sunnydal school library to change clothes. Buffy started having nightmares so I comforted her.

When we got to my place we were soaking wet because it started to pour buckets of rain outside. I set her shivering body down on the bed and held her.

"You almost went away today…" she whispered

"We both did" I replied

"Angel" Buffy paused to sniffle "I fell like if I lost you," there was a long pause "You're right though, we can't be"

"Shh" I cooed "I-"

"You what?"

"I love you. I try not to but I can't stop!"

"I can't either," she cried. She kissed me longingly

"Buffy maybe we shouldn't-"

"Don't," she said, putting her fingers to my lips "Just kiss me" she demended, pulling me close. And I did kiss her. It went further. Then in the dead of night, a pain worse than anything I ever felt took over me. I ran outside into the pouring rain, screaming for Buffy, but she couldn't hear me. Suddenly it stoped. A woman came outside to ask if I was alright, and I devoured her. My soul was gone.


	6. Aftermath

**THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO IS READING. BUT I WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK OF IT SO PLEEEEEEEASE REVIEW! I ALSO AM STARTING SCHOOL AGAIN, SO MY POSTS MAY BE LESS FREQUENT. I ASK YOU TO BEAR WITH ME. ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU ALL!**

I didn't understand. Couldn't I be different? I didn't know who Buffy was, but what if it was only with her. I mean, it sounded like they truly loved each other. I know I had only just met Angel and I was falling for him, but I'm not completely in love with him; only Edward. Edward didn't love me. He left me. He thought that I would be better off without him, but if I would be, then why was I sent away for being too depressed. No one could ever fill the gap that massive emptiness in my heart. The truth was that when I was kissing Angel, I forgot that it was Angel for a few moments. I imagined Edward kissing me; even though Edward never got as far as putting his tongue in my mouth. That and the fact that Angel tasted different was the only thing that reminded me I was kissing Angel, and not Edward. The thought of Edward practically made me die. Every time I thought about him, this dry, hot, feeling climbed up my chest to my throat.

"I, I have to go." I choked out as I put my jacket back on. I walked briskly to the curtain and pulled it back, exposing a the smallest sliver sunlight. It was barely morning. You would imagine that it would be a sunny place in Sunnydale. I checked my watch. Seven twenty-six. How did I wake up so early? I always slept for a long amount of time.

"Bella wait!" I heard Angel faintly yell after me from the safety of his sanctuary. But it was too late, I was already gone. It took me about an hour to find my way home, since I didn't know the area, or even where I was. Sunnydale in the morning was peaceful. I sat down by the tree in my front yard. I could have stayed there forever if I wanted to, but I wanted to be inside when Mom and Phil woke up.

When I got home, I made sure to close the white front door very softly so I wouldn't wake up Mom and Phil. I silently went upstairs into my room and closed the door. I collapsed onto my bed and started to cry. I needed Edwards's arms to wrap around me; I needed him; I just needed. No one loved me. Not Edward, not Jacob, not Angel, not Charlie. No one. I felt alone. Deadly alone. Ever since I moved to Sunnydale my life had been hell. I had only been in Sunnydale for nineteen hours and I couldn't stand it. I thought that moving here would get me a better life like everyone else. But it didn't. I wanted to get out of my skin. I hated my life. Everyone seemed to be amazed by me, but I didn't see why. I wasn't really smart, I am unbelievably accident prone, and I can't ever seem to do anything right. I needed air. So, not even knowing if it was open at eight in the morning, I went to the Bronze. It wasn't open, so I went to the cemetery. There were thousands of headstones lined together like dominos. All of them looked the same. Not just the shape and size, but the dates. A lot of them were my age, even younger. I gasped. Every headstone I saw that had a young person underground I touched. I gave a moment of silence for them. I gave about two hundred and fifty moments of silence. The thought of that had me shaking. Why were there so many dead people; and young ones at that? There was something very wrong here. Did Sunnydale have a major epidemic going around? What if I was the next person to mysteriously die?

I walked all the way to the other side of the cemetery. When I looked up, rain clouds were looming up above. I started to feel gentle drops of rain kissing my skin. But by the look of the sky, it was going to progress. So I looked around for a way to get out or hide, and I tripped over something. I plummeted to the wet ground and sat there for a moment. I pondered getting up. Why would I want to live when I have no reason to? But I was curious why I tripped, so I looked behind me and found a small hook. It looked like a hidden doorway covered by grass. So I picked it up and lone behold, there was a staircase. I quickly ran down to the bottom to escape the bigger, fatter rain. There was a shirtless man at the other side of an underground room. He had bleach blonde hair, a bony face, and a six-pack. He resembled Billy Idol a little. Then at the speed of light, he turned around with the same demon face that Angel had when he bit me.

He chuckled "I haven't had a teenager in ages!" He said in a seductingly north-English accent. I tried to run but he held a firm strong hand on my shoulder. I couldn't move. He pulled back my brown hair and exposed my long neck. I could feel his cold breath on my neck, and I think he noticed the big goose bumps forming on my neck. He licked my neck like when a nurse rubs alcohol on your arm before giving you a shot. I knew what was going to happen; I was going to die. I could automatically sense that this vampire didn't have a soul or conscience. He wouldn't have the will to stop his feeding- he probably wouldn't even consider sparing me. Then he kissed my neck. I swear that I almost melted in his arms. I was relieved. It was as if a thousand pounds of lead were lifted off of my chest. Then he tore off my jacket and shirt exposing my bra. That's when I started to feel violated. _I wish that Angel or Edward had done that._ I thought to myself. Then he touched my Quileute tattoo that Jacob made me get as a going away gift. It was located on my lower back, high enough so that it wasn't a "tramp stamp" like my mom said her fairy tattoo was. I trembled as he touched it again. He turned me around and gave me a menacing look directly into my eyes. It was that hypnosis again. He was stabbing me mentally with his eyes. Then he sniffed the air. I should have known that he would have smelled my werewolf/ vampire scent.

"What in the hell are you?"


	7. Spike

"Wha-wha-"

"T-t-t-today girlie!" He said, letting his pearls for teeth show

"What do you mean?" I asked covering up my chest with my arms. He tugged at my arms and I put my hands to my sides. Whenever I even wore a low cut t-shirt my breasts felt exposed. But now that they practically were, I couldn't stand not covering them up.

"I _mean_," he said getting closer "you smell like a vampire and a werewolf. How can you be a vampire if you're a werewolf?"

"I-I'm not. A-a vampire. Or a werewolf." I spit out

"Then what's up with your tattoo? That's the Quileute werewolf symbol." He said picking up a bottle and pointing at my tattoo. There was apparently nothing in it so he threw it against the wall. I couldn't speak. "Come on girlie, tell me! Are you a werewolf or a slayer?" he said getting so close that his chest pressed up against mine. He put his arms around me and propped them on the wall, making sure I couldn't escape.

"My-my friend Jacob is a werewolf. He got me this tattoo to remember him by, and then he hugged me before I went on the" He got even closer, squishing me "plane!" I squeaked out the last letter.

"So then you're a slayer." He replied, unmoving. I opened my mouth to speak but he quickly clapped his hand over it "Let me tell you something slayer, you can't kill me. The last one Buffy couldn't either. Even before I started patrolling and helping her she didn't. So don't try anything funny." He explained, taking his cold hand off my mouth.

"I-I'm not the slayer" I said shivering. "I don't even know what that is." I started to cry for no reason, along with shaking from the cold underground room. Suddenly his face softened from demon to normal. He was gorgeous. His eyes were like black holes, once he looked at you, you couldn't look away. His lips looked very kissable. He also had a little scar on his left eyebrow that crossed at the end.

"What chu look'n at?" he asked

"You're just so," I couldn't stop looking at his eyes "gorgeous" I whispered by accident. He smiled a million-dollar smile.

"The name's Spike. What's your name love?" He asked getting even closer. I didn't think he could get any closer. I could feel his breath on my dry lips. He kept looking into my eyes. Usually I can't look at people who are looking straight through my eyes, but I just couldn't stop looking.

"Bella" I whispered

"The vampire _Bella_? Ha!" He laughed, only turning his head. "What are you? A nomad like me or do you have a clan?"

"I-I'm not a vampire. My boyfriend Edward Cullen and his clan are." I said. I didn't speak for a moment "I'm human." It came out of my mouth like it was supposed to be a surprise, which to him it was.

"Well in that case," then he bit me. Everything went black.


	8. Where the bloodshed ends

I woke up bare on my back. I made my usual morning groans and felt the top of my head. My hair was a jumbled mess of brown hay. I closed my eyes to go back to sleep when I noticed that I wasn't at my house, or at Angel's. Then I felt a cold hand on my back. I looked over and saw Spike, smiling like an idiot. I quickly turned over, covering up my breasts. I looked under the covers. _Nothing is on my body. Did we have sex?_ I asked myself. I actually said it aloud too.

"Best I ever had!" Spike said putting his hands behind his head. He was naked too. I couldn't look at his 'thing' He would probably think I would want to do it with him again. "Don't you remember? I bit you and then I took all your clothes off. Ooh, it was amazing." Then he turned over and looked at me with that stupid smile "Let's do it again!" he said getting on top of me. I quickly pushed him off.

"How come you didn't kill me? I didn't think that you would have stopped biting." I asked him

"I did because I had some food before you, and I thought you were smoken." He said 'smoken' in a slightly deep voice.

"Um, did we-"

"All three" Spike said holding up three black nail-polished fingers. I never thought that guys who painted their nails were very attractive, but for some reason he was.

I pushed back a soft strand of my brown hair. _How could I have done this? _I asked myself _How could I have done all three types? How could I have done this to Angel and-_suddenly that feeling creptup my throat again_-Edward?_ I felt disgusting all of the sudden. I felt like throwing up, but I didn't; I started to cry softly instead. Spike looked at me with a "what's up with you" expression on his face, cocking up his scarred left eyebrow. Then I thought of something.

"Bite me." I begged lifting up my tear-stricken face

"Wait what?"

"Bite me. _Hard_." I said rushing back into the bed

"You aren't one of those people who get bitten for pleasure, are you?" He asked, looking for bite marks on me head to toe. Luckily, the sheets masked the bite that James put on my arm. Then Spike leaned over and kissed my lips. His kiss was soft, almost sympathetic. It was like he sensed that I wanted to get bitten for a different reason. Then he lingered on my lower lip.

"When you say 'bite me' do you mean feed or?" Spike asked. I thought for a moment. Then I made the worst decision of my life:

"Change me Spike." I said, with no hesitation in my eyes

"You're sure about this?" Spike said, resting his head on my forehead, looking down. I nodded. He kissed me again, in the same pattern. He reached the very top of my neck, where my head met it. He kissed it, and then went even lower; to the same place he had bitten me last time. Then his teeth sank in. There was no pain after he sank his teeth into my neck. I expected to faint, but I didn't. I was awake. I thought that the feeding would hurt, but it didn't feel the same as it did when James and Edward bit me. It felt _good_. I wanted him to go deeper; I grabbed the back of his head and pulled it down. I moaned as he agreed to bite harder. Suddenly I saw Edwards outline beside the bed.

"Stop Bella, you'll kill yourself. You promised me to not do anything reckless." His voice sang in and out.

"You-promised," I choked out "-too. But –you lied." I moaned

"Did you say something love?" Spike said, getting up and wearing a bloody grin on his face. I shook my head and made him bite again. Then, everything went black.


	9. Edward

I was sitting at the white window ledge in Jacksonville. I looked at the sun and thought of Bella as my skin started to shine. I thought of us in the meadow, and then of me leaving her in the woods. I don't know what happened to her after that. I imagined that she was very happy now and was leading a better life. My life however, was unbearable. I saw happy lovers everywhere: Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmet, Esme and Carlisle. I however was alone. I always told myself that it was the best for her, but In my heart I knew that it wasn't the best for me.

Alice burst through the door with a worried expression. Jasper quickly came to her aid and held her hand. That was a slap in the face. It seemed as If everyone started getting even more in love after I broke up with Bella.

"Edward, Bella's-" Alice started to heave "Bella's dead."

I went cold. I prayed that I could be in Bella's position; dead. My life was over. I had failed, I had broken my promise to myself to protect Bella forever. All time stopped. Jasper started to speak and I could hear Alice's thoughts, but they started to fade away. My eyes blinded me from the world. I don't know how long I sat there, in shock, in pain. I started to hear noise, which meant that someone was crying very loudly. I snapped out of my shock and listened into my family's heads:

Emmet: She's-she's gone? Why!

Rosalie: Why couldn't I have died! Why did she have to die! She had so much to live for!

Jasper: No….she was family

Alice: Why? Why did you take her! Wh-y?

Carlisle: It wasn't her time to die. My daughter wasn't ready to go…

Esme: No-o!

I finally got the strength to speak. I got up, looked out the window at the suddenly dark sky. I looked around my room. I slid all of my cd's to the ground, smashing them. They were gone, just like the chance of Bella dancing with me to them. I made animal noises as I knocked over a lamps and my TV, crashing to the ground. I flipped over my couch, and threw my radio to the ground. I sank to the ground, and looked around at the destruction I inflicted onto my room. Then I let all of my feelings out:

"BELLA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A!" I curled up into a ball on my wood floor. My family rushed into my bedroom, shocked at what I had done.

"Oh Edward," Esme cried, trying to comfort me

"No," Carlisle said, pulling Esme back "Leave him be, he needs to deal with the news on his own.

I started rocking back and forth, calling out for Bella. I imagined her rushing to my side and holding me, but when I opened my eyes, she drifted away into the air.


	10. Hospital to Heaven

I looked at the ground in the hospital. I had done this all before with Buffy. I drank too much, and she collapsed. Only this time, it was Spike. I had to use the excuse "She tripped onto broken glass" on the doctors. She looked so helpless in her hospital bed; so young and pale. They had her connected to a lot of tubes as she lay limp in her hospital gown.

Her parents could not make it because they were four hours away in a "spa". I walked up to Bella's side and touched her hand. She started to stir, which made me smile. I never thought that I could smile, but I did.

"Angel, thank you." She managed to spit out

"Shh, you need your rest." I silenced her. She obeyed, closing her dark eyes and sleeping peacefully. I looked outside in the alleyway for Spike, who was smoking a cigarette with his head lowered. "What in the hell is wrong with you Spike?" I asked. He looked up and I sped over and pushed him against the brick wall. "She's only eighteen, did you know that? Hm? Did you know that she might die? Did you know that you are a complete FAILIURE?"

He started to smile. "You know, she asked for it. She said 'Bite me'. She said those exact words to me. I even asked her again. She said that she wanted it. She kept saying 'harder' and 'deeper'." Spike said, knowing that it was getting on my nerves. "Do you want to know something else pretty boy?" He asked, cornering me. "She slept with me. Just. Like. Buffy." He whispered

"A-ah!" I cried as I pushed him away. I sucker punched him and he fell to the ground. His lip started to bleed, and as always he enjoyed being beat up and laughed.

"Poor little Angel. There's a reason why Buffy and Bella and Dru came to me. Because you're a poof and you aren't a man or a vampire. You're a poof. You're a poof, you're a poof, and you can't love any one right." He said menacingly as he snaked over to me. I tried to punch him again but missed. He headed for the door into the hospital with the cigarette still in his mouth.

"If you touch her ever again I'll-"

"You'll what Angel? You can't even touch her without hurting her. The last time you tried to shag a girl you lost your soul again. You know sometimes I wish that you would become a real vampire again." He said strolling into the hospital. A nurse stopped Spike though

"Um you can't smoke in here sir." She had black hair and had pink scrubs on

"I can smoke whenever and wherever I want to!" Spike pouted

"Spike," I said turning him around

"What?" Spike asked. I slapped him on the cheek and crushed his cigarette. "Ow!" He said, putting his hand up to his cheek. "You know, that violence thing is very irksome."

"Irksome?" I laughed "Spike actually learned a new word? Let's give you a sticker on your face!"

"What?" He asked cocking up his eyebrow. I slapped him again, giving him a five-star. As we entered Bella's hospital room, we saw a young pale boy with a very thick vampire scent and light brown hair holding Bella's hand. He was crying.

"Bella? Bella?" He pleaded

"Angel? Is that you?" She asked looking at him. But before the boy could answer she said "I love you Angel. Then Spike made a snorting noise which made the boy turn around.

"Who are you?" He asked

"I'm um, I'm-"

"I'm Spike and he's a poof!" Spike laughed. I turned around and hit him so hard that I knocked him unconscious.

"I'm Angel."

"Well you don't reflect your name. How do you know Bella? And why did she-" Suddenly she started having one of her violent nightmares again and I rushed to the bedside and shook her awake. She looked straight into my eyes.

"Angel, let me die. I can't live without Edward anymore. These nightmares are becoming too real. I just can't live without him!" She cried. I took her hand and placed it on the boy's. "Edward? Am I in heaven?" She asked crying. He bent down and kissed her.

"No, it's me Bella." He cried "I thought that, I thought that you were dead. Alice got a vision and-" Bella pulled Edward to her lips. She seemed to stop moving for five minutes, unmoving from Edward.

"Edward, promise me that you won't ever leave me again."

"Bella-"

"Promise me."

"I promise." Edward said as I left the room. She took Edward into her bed and let him hold her as she fell asleep in his arms. After she was stable, Edward turned to me and gave me a death stare. When I couldn't stand it, I left the hospital, not knowing if I would ever see Bella again.


	11. Angels and Demons

I walked around Sunnydale, feeling pathetic. I gave Bella my blood to let her live, just to figure out that she was sleeping with the most unimaginable vampire I had ever known, and hanging around Angelus. I knew who Angelus was. He could have wiped out a whole country if he wanted too, but that was before he got his soul. However, I knew that he lost and then re-gained his soul again, by having one-true moment of happiness. I was listening into his mind, and it turned out that his one moment of true happiness was sleeping with a slayer named Buffy, who was Bella's age, and lived in Bella's new house. However, there was something that caught me, she had her nightmare when she was with Angel and she said my name. I read Jacob's mind too; his said that when Charlie was talking to Billy Black that Bella had been having nightmares every night that I had been gone, and that she was moved into Sunnydale because she was too depressed by my absence. I knew that if I left that she would get into trouble all over again. She needed me here, and I needed her. Then my phone rang, and it was Carlisle.

"How is she?" Carlisle asked

"She's been bitten three times and would have died if I didn't give her a transfusion. She's in trouble Carlisle. There's more to this, but, I don't know if speaking about it over the phone would be suitable. Can you come to the hospital?"

"Well, I guess I'll catch the next flight to Los Angeles."

"Bye Carlisle."

"Goodbye."

I decided to wait outside the hospital for Carlisle, not knowing where else that we could meet. After a few hours, Carlisle called and told me the plane had landed, and that he would be here in two hours, since Sunnydale was two hours away from Los Angeles. When he arrived, his face was grim. He always seemed to smile, but his face had no traces of happiness.

_Where is she?_ Carlisle asked in his mind

"Follow me." I replied getting up

Every room we passed seemed to be joyful. It was as if people were trying to rub their happiness in my face. Flowers and balloons decorated every room, and smiles paraded on everyone's faces. Some people were crying, but they were tears of joy. The tears shed in my head were of pain, neglect, and betrayal.

Bella's room was room 203. Apparently, her parents had visited while I was gone, because there were more balloons, and they were just leaving as Carlisle and I entered. I stayed outside in the hallway and listened in on Carlisle's thoughts as he entered Bella's room.

"Isabella! How great it is to see you again!" Carlisle said, finally smiling.

"Carlisle, hey. Um, I would hug you but," Bella said looking at the tubes on her body.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, standing right next to her.

"Like its déjà vu. It seems like only a year ago you were doing the same thing, only there was truck and a van involved." She chuckled.

"Yes, well evidently this is more serious than last time. You brought this one on yourself Bella. I don't understand."

"I um, I just, I feel different here, you know?" She paused. ". I only found peace when I was with-"

"Angelus?" Carlisle finished

"Edward mentioned that you lived with someone named that, but I don't know who that is." Bella said looking at her hands

"Angelus was cursed in eighteen ninety-eight with a conscience when Romanian gypsies returned his soul as an act of vengeance for killing their most beloved daughter Drusilla; prior to his curse, Angelus is recorded as perhaps the most sadistic vampire in history. For experiencing a moment of pure happiness, however, the gypsy curse on him is revoked, unleashing the soulless Angelus. Angelus then attempted to destroy the world by awakening the demon Acathla. However, the woman who made him experience his true moment of happiness had to kill him and send him to hell. But somehow, he has returned from hell and has embraced his soul again. His name today is Angel."


	12. Angelus

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The shed was finished by the time I got out of the hospital, but because of my "falling on glass accident", the shed was turned into a guesthouse and I was returned to my old room. I started school that week. It was the same scenario as last year: everyone is amazed at the new girl on campus even though she's only wearing blue jeans and a gray t-shirt, everyone wants to be your friend, and the day seems to drag on. After school ended, I went to the Bronze. The Bronze was a nightclub, but emphasis on the night. It was pretty nice during the day. I did most of my homework there, which took a while because everyone kept trying to talk to the new girl. Also, I kept thinking about Edward, Angel, and Spike. When I finished at the Bronze, I went back to the graveyard where Spike lived. I needed to know more about Angel, if he was dangerous, if he was an ally, just if. I reached the end of the practically infinite graveyard and pulled up the trap door. I walked down the cement stairs and looked around for Spike. He was nowhere to be seen. So I looked around a bit. I didn't really notice anything in his little liar the last time I was down there, so I wanted to this time. He had a lot of candles, a few dusty old books, a bed (obviously), a small island, and a cement coffin. _Maybe Spike has something about Angel around here,_ I thought heading towards the oak bookcase. There were many poems were scattered around. There was even a book in which he (tried) to write a poem. Then I came across a book entitled THE DEVIL'S PROTEGES. When I opened the book, I checked the index to see if this book would be useful to me. Chapter 1 was Queen Rose; Chapter 2 was William the Bloody. _Spike is in here? _I thought to myself. I opened up to the page.

William "The Bloody" Pratt was born in London, England. He was a poet until one night in eighteen eighty when the vampire Drusilla killed him in an alleyway. From that moment on, he traveled with the vampires Darla, Drusilla, and the vampire Angelus.

_So that's how Spike knew Angel!_ I thought smiling. The next page had Angelus on it, but just as I was about to turn the page,

"Hello love, did you come for another shag or another bite?" He said as I whipped my head around

"Spike!" I gasped standing up and letting the book fall to the ground "I was just um, I was just-"

"Snooping? Yes, I rather got that when you practically pissed your pants when you saw me. What chu look'n at anyway there?" He asked pointing to the book on the floor.

"I um, I need to know about something," I said pushing back a strand of hair

"So you've come to pump me for information?" He said, looking disappointed "Let me guess, Angel." He smiled until he said 'Angel'

"Um, ya," I quickly smiled and nodded my head

"Oh god I need a drink," Spike sighed. He headed over to a very small fridge. When he opened the door it revealed a lot of alcohol and a few bags of blood. He took out a bottle of scotch and put a few drops of blood in a glass with it. "Would you like anything pet?" He asked with that same idiotic smile.

"Uh, no, no thanks." I shook my head as I sat down on a chair by the gray island.

"You sure? I'm not gonna tell your mummy or anything." I shook my head again. "Well then, more for me." He said taking a long drink. "Well, um, Angel is just a poof." He laughed before taking another drink.

"Spike," I said putting my hand on his to stop him from drinking. "I mean like, what you know about him. I know that you don't really like him, but just tell me about what his past is." I looked into his eyes "Please."

"Angel was born as Liam in Galway, Ireland in 1727. When he was twenty, he became an alcoholic. He hated his mum and his dad, but he absolutely loved his little sister, Kathy. When he was twenty-six, he was being a poof and got himself kicked out of the house because he tried to seduce their only maidservant. After getting drunk at the tavern, he met his sire, Darla, who killed him in an alleyway. After he died, he decided to kill his family. Kathy let him in, thinking that he was "returning to her as an angel". Probably hence the name. Nevertheless, he killed his whole family. After leaving Ireland, Angel and Darla cut a bloody swath through Wales and northern England before finally reaching London in 1760. That's when he met Darla's sire, the first vampire ever, the Master. He openly mocked the older vampire despite his power and authority, showing no fear despite his greater age. In May 1764, Angel and Darla killed the family of vampire hunter Daniel Holtz. Holtz devoted himself to capturing Angel and Darla, chasing them across Europe. Now here comes my favorite part," Spike said smiling and taking a drink. "In London, England 1860, Drusilla caught the attention of Angel. Dru was "cursed" with having visions, something her mother saw as "an affront to the Lord". Drusilla was sweet, pure and chaste. While posing as her priest to torment her, Angel killed her family, which caused Dru to flee to a convent. On the day she was to take her holy orders, Angel massacred the convent. After having sex with Darla right in front of Dru, Angel finally pushed her over the edge, driving her insane before he finally sired her. Drusilla was Angels' "masterpiece," an everlasting example of his finest cruelty, as her immortality meant that her torment would never end."

My eyes widened. I didn't know if I could take anymore, or if Spike could. I could tell that Spike really loved Drusilla, and that it was painful to talk about her.

"That's when she saved me." He laughed, remembering what had happened. "I couldn't take my life anymore, and she put light into it again. That's how I fell in love with her. But, Angel was my role model. I wanted to be him. He taught me about mass slaughter. You know one time during a wedding party, Angel beat the groom to death with his own arm. But um, when he realized how much I cared for Drusilla, he had made love with her just to hurt me. I will never forgive him for that." Spike said.

I had tears in my eyes. How could Angel have done that? How could he have killed so many people, and how could he have had sex with Drusilla just to hurt Spike? Spike took another long drink and sniffled.

"In 1888, I got Angel, Darla and Drusilla chased out of London, England and into an abandoned mine shaft in Yorkshire, England by an angry mob. Angel wondered why they hadn't killed me yet, threateningly warned me about it. Oh, here's a good one," Spike said suddenly feeling happy "In 1890, Angel and I attended a production of Giselle by the Blinnikov, a Russian ballet troupe run by Count Kurskov. Despite being evil, the poof was moved to tears during the performance. Oh, then we used a trick that involved us holding bloody hands and beheading our enemies with a length of wire in St. Petersburg. In 1894, we were captured in Rome by henchmen of the Immortal, a mysterious and seductive being me and Angel a fierce rivalry. And of course were tortured while the Immortal had a threesome with Darla and Dru! They never did that with us. Pisses me off. We attempted to take revenge on 'em, but we failed miserably. Then it happened. In 1898, he killed favorite girlie of a tribe of gypsies, the Kalderash clan in Borşa, Romania. To avenge her death, the Kalderash cursed him by restoring his human soul, giving 'em a conscience and 'condemning him to an eternity of remorse for the crimes he'd committed as the soulless Angelus'. But when he couldn't kill a baby in China, Angel left and I never saw him for a while. That is until he saved me and a few others from Nazis in World War 2. Then he went off the radar again. That was until he met Buffy."

There was that Buffy girl again! Everyone talked about her, but no one ever told me who she was, or what she did, or where she was.

"Spike, who is Buffy?" I asked

"Buffy is the vampire slayer. She lived in a house in Sunnydale and went to high school. Angel decided to help her, and they instantly 'fell in love'. But Buffy didn't know that Angel was a poofy vampire. Lucky 'er! Well, they got jiggy with it and he lost his soul again because he had his 'one true moment of happiness'. That's when he became Angelus again. He had found me and Dru and we were all good mates again. But then he tried to open up a hell dimension and Buffy had to sacrifice him. But for some reason, Angel came back. But he was a little bit" Spike made a twirling gesture by his head with his finger "Because a month here is a century of torture in the hell dimension. But, right after he got back to normal, he left. That when Buffy and I started shagging and what not. But of course when Angel comes back she breaks up with me for him. And guess what!" He said drunkenly "He wouldn't take-her-back! Haha! Well, um, then her mum found out that Buffy was the slayer, and she moved Buffy away. Nobody's ever seen her since."

Suddenly I had tons of feelings rushing through me: anger from what Angel had done, sadness for what Spike had to go through with Angel, and sympathy for Angel because of what he had to go through. I needed a way to decide how I felt, but I didn't know how.

"Thank you Spike." I leaned over and gave him a peck on the lips. He looked at me dumbfounded

"What for?"

"Just because you're Spike." I said just before leaving

It was still bright outside, so I decided to try and find Angel. I needed to talk to him. All that I remembered from seeing him last was that he lived in a very big house, possibly a mansion, that was gray and gothic. After wandering about Sunnydale for a half an hour, I found the house. I was right, it was a mansion, but I didn't know what for. He was the only one who lived here-to my knowledge. The mansion looked exactly like the one I left a week ago, but there was a big front door. So I looked around each side of the mansion until I found the big black curtain I came out of last week. I found it in the back and pulled the black curtain back to look around. He had a big, stone fireplace, a few books scattered on a white couch, and a chandelier. But, Angel wasn't in this room. So I went up what seemed like a hundred marble steps to the second floor. There were five rooms on this floor, and I started from the left over. The first room practically had bookcases for walls, and a big red chair by the door. The next room was the bathroom, which seemed oddly elegant. The fourth room was the room I woke up in. It had a white bed, black walls, a wood floor, and a few books scattered across the floor. They were all classics. But, Angel wasn't in here either. So I ran down the marble steps and looked around the room once more. That's when I saw four straight cracks in the wall. It looked suspicious, so I pushed it, and it opened like a swinging door to reveal a cryptic type of cellar. There was no light in the room except for a few candles, which were burning low.

"Angel?" I called out, searching the pitch-black room for him as best as I could. I started feeling around for a wall to lead me to the end of the room. Then my foot touched something. I slowly kneeled to the floor and then reached out to touch what my foot did. It was flesh. I reached further and a hole. I lowered my hand to where I thought would be a shoulder and shook it, but after I did, I noticed that it was _not _his shoulder. Angel (I suspected) snapped up and screamed.

"Angel it's just me!" I smiled

"Well then why are you touching me there?" He asked, his chest heaving

"It was an accident. I thought that it was your shoulder."

"Is that a compliment?" He asked

"Um, I don't know. I need to talk to you Angel." I said, trying to get up. I pushed back a strand of hair "Angel, I _really_ need to talk to you." I said as he slowly got up and led me to the door.

"How did you find me?" He asked, putting on a black button up shirt

"Well, your house was the only one that looked dead, and I looked around your whole house until I found you."

"Bella, I don't think that you should be coming here." He looked me in the eyes as we sat down on his couch. "I mean, I've already disturbed your life enough. I practically got you killed, you love somebody else, I've already been through this before and-" I leaned over and kissed him.

"Angel, I didn't come here to annoy the hell out of you, or try to kill you with a stake. I need to ask you something." I said looking at my pants "How do you feel about me?" I asked looking desperately into his eyes

"Oh Bella!" Angel said getting up from the couch "I can't do this! Our lives would be better if you didn't see me. I can't even begin to tell you what could happen. I can't go through the hurt and pain again-"

"You don't have to tell me what would happen if you fell in love with me like you did with Buffy." I said following him "Spike already did" I said crossing my arms. Angel's face went whiter than bleach.

"You asked Spike about me?" he asked narrowing his eyes

"So did Carlisle." Said taking a step closer

"How did you speak to Carlisle?"

"He's Edward's sire."

"Well then you must know that she's gone now and that we both went through HELL. And that I did literally for a century." He said walking away.

"Angel!" I called out after him he was still walking. "Angel!" still walking "Liam!" He stopped dead in his tracks looked at me, and then fell to the ground.


	13. Liam

Liam. That name had haunted me for about the last three centuries. I hadn't heard it since that horrible day in Ireland. No one had ever called me that since then. Darla for a short while, but that was before I changed my name to Angelus. When she said my name, that's when I knew that Spike hadn't just told her about Buffy, but my whole life. I knew then that she wouldn't ever forgive me for what I had done. I had never forgave myself for what I've done. I would hate myself for all eternity. I was lucky enough to know a person like Buffy, or Bella. Buffy always loved me, she killed me for my own good, she brought me back, she healed me, she tried to resist our love for each other, but we couldn't. I knew that she had never stopped loving me, and I would never stop loving her. I couldn't even if I try.

I had a dream, a vision while I was passed out. Buffy was in Maine, happy and living a good life, with a good job, a good relationship with her mom, and just happy; better than she would have been if she were with me. Then my dream flashed me into her in her new house, holding a gold picture frame. She smiled and then started to cry. Her tears rolled down her bright cheeks like an avalanche. They were a mixture of happiness and sadness. She kissed the picture, and then I walked to her and got a look at what the picture was: me. _After all this time, she remembers me?_ Then Buffy started to cry harder and lay down on her pillow with the picture right beside her.

"Angel…" She whispered looking at the picture "I love you" Then she shot up from her bed looking in my direction. I looked behind me, and saw nothing but a wall with nothing by it. _Could she see me?_ "Angel?" She slowly got up and we both held out our hands to see if this was really happening. Our hands touched, and another tear rolled down her face as her fingers intertwined with mine. Then we both took a step closer to each other, and she quickly hugged me.

"Angel, am I dreaming?" She asked as she rested her head on my shoulder

"I know that I am, because I'm living a dream every single time I see you." I replied kissing her head

"How much time do we have?" she asked, knowing that this moment of bliss would end soon

"I don't know."

"I still love you."

"As do I."

"I think you have to go now Angel," she said as I started to fade. She gave me a kiss and then I was gone.

A beautiful voice accompanied by a piano awoke me from my dream state. The song was beautiful, and it was very moving. I turned around to see where the music was coming from, and it was Bella.

"When you were here before, couldn't look you in the eye. You're just like an angel; your skin makes me cry." Her fingers moved like lightning to the keys, and her voice rolled out, soft as honey.

"I want you to notice, when I'm not aro-und! You're so special, I wish I was special." I had heard these lyrics before. It was a cover of Radiohead's Creep. I had never listened to the lyrics before, but they were very beautiful, but sad.

"She's, running out aga-in, she's running out, she run, run, run, run, ru-n!" Then something inside me needed Bella, needed to make her know that I loved her, that I didn't do what Angelus did, only my body, and that I was condemned to sorrow and grief for the rest of my life, but she made my life worth living. I rushed over to her and kissed her soft lips fiercely. She was into it, and then pushed me away.

"What?" I pleaded with her

"First you love me then you hate me-"

"I could never hate you."

"You sure as hell could have fooled me."

"Well if you think that I hate you, which I do not, then why the hell are you here playing the piano and singing like a woodland creature?"

"So you're asking me why I've become an evil squirrel who can play the piano." She asked

"Bella, you know what I mean."

"Well I'm not going to answer any of your questions until you answer mine." She said, crossing her arms

"What was your question?"

"H-how do you feel about me?" With Bella it was always about love and assurance. I wanted to tell her about how I was enamored by her and that I couldn't risk losing a girl I loved again, but when I opened my mouth, no words came out.

"When you decide, about how you feel about me, you know where to find me." She said before leaving. I hated my life. 


	14. Badass

HELLO ALL! I KNOW THAT IT HAS BEEN FOREVER SINCE I POSTED A CHAPTER, AND I FIGURED OUT THAT OVER 413 PEOPLE ARE FOLLOWING THIS STORY, AND I LOVE EVERYONE OF YOU FOR THAT. IM TRYING AS BEST AS I CAN TO POST, THANK YOU!

"Edward?" I asked knocking on the door of the shed in my backyard, where Edward was staying. He asked my mom and Phil if he could stay in the shed, and they agreed. He was only staying in the shed because he wanted to keep a close eye on me. Edward didn't answer, so I opened the door.

"So you were at Spike's?" He asked , appearing right next to me

"How did you?"

"You smell like cigarette smoke. Your parents don't smoke, and I _know_ that you don't smoke." He said, closing the door behind me. The room was very dark without natural sunlight coming through the door or windows. My mom and Phil had only installed two lights, which Edward flipped on. "And you're wearing his leather duster."

"um, I need to ask you something." I said sitting down and pushing back a strand of hair.

"No, I don't have any condoms for Spike and you to use." Edward had been acting very strange and even more over-protective lately, and he was still angry about Spike.

"You know you _really_ have to get over that. I didn't even _know_ that it happened, and we were not just having sex! I left my jacket there and he lost it so he lent me his coat, and how did _you_ even know that it happened?" I asked turning my head sideways.

"I can read minds, remember?"

"Oh, yeah." I said, forgetting about his powers for a moment.

"What's your question?" He asked, turning to me

"How come Angel and Spike can't go out in sunlight, and they look like demons when they feed, but you look human and you sparkle like diamonds?" I asked, remembering the bodies and faces of Spike, Angel, and Edward.

"I don't know, I think that it has something to do with the Master and the Hellmouth." He said

"The Hellmouth?"

"You don't know what the Hellmouth is?" I shook my head "A Hellmouth was an area in which the barriers between dimensions was particularly weak, allowing the creation of portals between earth and several hell dimensions. For these reasons, the Hellmouth attracted demons and other supernatural creatures, becoming a hot spot for supernatural activity. The word "Hellmouth" is derived from the original, Spanish name for Sunnydale: Boca Del Inferno translated as "Mouth of Hell." It refers to the center of this mystical convergence. There is also a Hellmouth in Cleveland," Edward said knowingly

"Lemme guess, Carlisle lived here once?" I asked laughing. It seemed like Carlisle had been everywhere in the world throughout his living and vampire life.

"No," Edward said smiling "I just went to the library." He said holding up a book entitled HELLMOUTH. "Speaking of which, I have to return it before school closes, would you like to come with me to return it?"

"Wait, you got that from the school library?" I asked "A school library would have books about demons and the Hellmouth?"

"It was in the restricted section, which really defies the meaning of the restricted section if you take a book out of it." He said getting up and opening the shed door. Sunlight turned Edward into a walking treasure-chest of diamonds as we avoided the neighbors' eyes while heading to his Volvo. Edward enrolled in the same school as me, again to keep an eye on me.

"Wait, so if it was in the restricted section, how did you check it out?" I asked after I fastened my seatbelt

"I stole it," He said starting the car

"Edward, you actually _stole_ something?" I smiled

"Yeah, I'm what the kids at school call 'badass'" He laughed I was about to ask him who he was and where was my boyfriend, but I knew that it would result in him being angry again.

When we reached the school, the sky was an icy blue and the sun was transparent in the sky. He walked out of the car and opened up the car door to let me out. As I got out, I glanced at my watch, and it was seven thirty!

"Um, Edward, do you know what time it is?" I asked as we started walking

"Yes, seven thirty." He said turning around

"Well you do know that the school closed three hours ago?" I said pushing back a strand of hair

"Yes" Edward said calmly. Edward had been acting weird lately, he had been drinking things other than blood, stealing books, and he wasn't as protective as usual

"Then how are we going to get in?" I asked. Then Edward pulled out a jagged metal clip and went to the door. _He was going to pick the lock._ I thought to myself as he did so. "Edward, won't we get caught and get in trouble?"

"No." He said opening the door into the school. I was hesitant to go in, even with Edward. "Bella?" He held out his hand to me "Trust me!" He looked deep into my eyes. The school looked weird at night. It was dark, empty, and demented. Edward picked the lock into the library, and led me into the restricted section. It had a bunch of books about demons and vampires, and everything else that goes bump in the night. As we were leaving, I fell through a week spot in the floor into the basement. "Bella!" Edward said looking from above

"I'm okay!" I yelled

"I'm coming down!"

"Edward no!" I said, not wanting to risk Edwards's safety. But Edward landed gracefully on the cement like a cat.

"Bella, you hit your head!" He said rushing over to me. I put my hand up to my head. It burned, and as I took down my hand to eye-level, I saw blood all over my hand, practically becoming my skin. "I'm so accident prone…" Suddenly Edward's eyes looked deadly beyond my head. I turned around to see what he was looking at. There was a strange symbol on the floor with fire all around it. Edward started to approached the symbol on the floor slowly.

"Edward,"

"Bella, just stay back." He got right up to the symbol, and it started to illuminate

"EDWARD NO!" but it was too late, Edwards eyes turned into suns, he cradled outward, and he made a bloodcurdling scream. Then, the symbol stopped burning, and Edward fell to the ground. "Edward?" I said, slowly approaching his limp body. Then he sprang up and looked at me, like nothing had happened. But, I needed to know what had happened to Edward. _I'll go ask Angel,_ I thought _He's been here the longest._

"No Bella. Angel doesn't know what happened I'll assure you." Edward said

"W-what did you say?" I asked _I think Edward is going crazy or-_

"I'm not going crazy Bella. I can hear you. I can hear your thoughts."


	15. Not so silent night

As I lay in my bed at eleven fifty at night, I couldn't understand it- Edward could hear my thoughts. I had always wanted him to hear my thoughts, until now. Back in Forks, I wanted him to know about what I was thinking, but now, I just don't know if he would stay if he could read my mind. I had three men, Spike, Angel, and Edward on my mind all the time and sometimes Jacob. I also don't think that my mind, or anyone else's for that matter isn't crazy when you think about it. Sometimes I have flashbacks and then my mind changes the flashbacks into a dream and then into reality, and then into hell. Everyone's mind is messed up if you look into it. Your mind never focuses on one thing. It has to control your emotions, hormones, body movements, sight, hearing, touch, smell, memory, voice- our minds work too hard; and that's why if you ever remember what you've thought about during the day, your thoughts are jumbled and crazy. Moreover, I don't know if it's just me, but my mind and me are different somehow. My mind practically makes me think of something that I don't want to think about sometimes. Most people say things in their heads that they would never say aloud. In my case, it's the really bad curse words. However, for story purposes, I've excluded those words. That's why I couldn't let Edward read my mind.

When I had finally gotten control of part of my thoughts, I decided to try sleeping again. I thought about Edward, how hurt he was after he started to read my mind. So, discard that 'I had finally gotten control of my thoughts' part. I had just closed my eyes, and it had resulted in more stress. I couldn't stop thinking about Angel and Edward and Spike. I tried to tell my mom what had been happening. I told her about Edward coming to make sure I stayed out of trouble, and how I thought I had gotten feelings for not one, but two other guys and how Edward knew about it. I told her about how Edward found out about the thing I did with Spike, excluding the part about sleeping with him- I just told her I did something partially stupid, and how I couldn't get my head straight. She gave me a long, warm hug and asked me if I wanted to be alone tonight, besides Edward. Mom always believed that expressing your feelings out loud, with or without someone to hear, was a great way to let go of stress and pain. She did that a lot. Whenever she did, I would go to the library or a friend's house. I nodded, so she and Phil went to a cheap hotel for the night. I also wanted to let them have some time completely alone.

A cold, soft hand touched the bare of my back, which was stupidly facing the open window. _It could be an intruder, or a rapist, or, or,_ I thought panicking. The hand moved up to my face, where it brushed a piece of hair away. As the person started to walk into my room, I closed my eyes tight to make it look like I was asleep.

"Bella, I'm not an intruder or a rapist, and I don't plan on doing any of those things to you. I also know that you're eyes are closed too tight for you to be sleeping…" It was Edward.

"Well what the hell are you doing in my room at eleven thirty at night anyway?" I said whipping my eyes open. "I was trying to-"

"Think about me and Angel and Spike?" He said kneeling beside me. I hated that he could read my mind. It pissed me off. He would be able to know me too well. Then he would know about my feelings for- I had to stop myself. I was going to say the J word. "What's the J word?" He asked

"Stay out of my head Edward! I'll go crazy if you make a comment about every single thing I think about!" I said putting my purple pillow over my head. He took the pillow off of my head, turned my face to his, and led me to his lips with his finger on my chin. His kiss was sympathetic and sincere.

"I can't control what I hear Bella, and no one can control what they think. On numerous occasions, people have thought about how horrible it would be if someone could read their thoughts. I however, am the person they dread, because I can. That's why I can't be around Mike Newton with you around…" He said, probably referring to the crush Mike had on me back in Forks. That made me laugh on the inside' but to Edward I was laughing out loud. "But who can blame him? You're beautiful. You have no parallel in this world." He said standing up. He had the same devilish look in his eye that he did in the schools basement earlier that day. This made me scoot to the end of my bed with my back against the wall and the window. This Edward scared me. "Don't be afraid Bella. It only hurts the first few times. You'll get used to it, knowing that you do it with Spike a lot." I knew what he was trying to do. The expression on my face was still fear, but on the inside, it was fear and anger. He took off his shirt and smiled devilishly. I had wanted to make love with him at one point, but not like this. I wanted it to be spontaneous, and not because of lust. I wanted it to be because we wanted to be so close and we were so in love that we had to show it. He was lusting after me now. Then he started to unbuckle his belt. I closed my eyes. I wanted to push him away, but I couldn't do anything but close my eyes and sit there, waiting for something to happen. Then he put my hands in his, to make sure that I didn't push him away like in my head. I knew that he had started to take his pants off now, I could hear it. He was going to sleep with me, but in my eyes, it was rape. "Bella, it's not rape if you've wanted it for a long time." He said reading my mind. He started to kiss me roughly. Then he went lower. I was petrified. This was one of my worst fears. This wasn't Edward, it was demonic and it didn't care about me. Despite my thoughts that I knew he would hear, he reached my belly button. I trembled as he kissed it. Then, by some miracle, I hit his head, pushed him off me, and fled the house with my phone. I texted my mom telling her that I was going to stay at a friend's house because I couldn't stand being alone in the house, and that I wouldn't kill myself this time. There was only one place I could think to go.

"Angel, I really need a friend right now." I said with tears in my eyes as I pulled back the curtain.


	16. I Need You Now

Bella stood in my mansion only wearing a tank top, shorts, and a phone in hand. I sat there looking at her freezing to death for a few moments, sinking her in. She looked like an abandoned puppy that had been kicked around. I went to my white couch and picked up the black blanket that I had and wrapped it around the freezing cold Bella. I thought that I had only wrapped the blanket around Bella, but my arms were connected to the blanket. I sat her down on the couch without moving my hands from her, walking awkwardly all the way there. I looked at the clock. It was midnight.

"Bella, what happened?" I asked wiping a tear away from her cheek

"I-I-It's nothing" She sniffed

"Bella it is something when you come to me at midnight in your pajamas with tears in your eyes." I said looking her

"It's-it's Edward." She said, snuggling closer to me

"What happened with him?"

"He-he's been acting strange lately. He's been stealing books and picking locks for no reason. When we went to return a book today at the school, we fell through a weak spot in the floor and into the basement. There was a weird symbol with fire around it, and Edward got too close to it. His eyes lit up like stars, and he looked like he was in agony, and then- then the weirdest thing happened." I looked at her with a blank expression. I knew what was happening. "Did I ever tell you that Edward was telepathic?" I shook my head "Well, Edward could read everyone's thoughts but mine. He always talked about how it drove him crazy that he couldn't know what I was thinking. Then, after he got too close to that symbol, he could. And then uh," She started to cry again "Edward came into my room a while ago and he was trying to uh-"

"I know what happened to your boyfriend." I said

"He's not my boyfriend!" She said whipping her head around with evil eyes. I didn't know what she meant by that. I knew that they used to date, and thought that maybe she meant that they weren't exactly boyfriend and girlfriend anymore; but I think that she sensed how he had started to act differently, and knew that it wasn't Edward in Edward's body.

"That symbol, on the school's basement, did it look like horns around a star?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"You were right Bella, that is not Edward. Edward's soul is gone." I said. The anger was out of her eyes, and they were filled with even more tears. She hugged me tight and sobbed.

I knew that she still had feelings for Edward. That's why I couldn't tell her how much I loved her and needed her to stay with me in my arms. I couldn't ruin her life like how I ruined Buffy's either. I knew that she was perfectly content with Edward and that her life would be better without me. That was what had been on my mind ever since she asked me how I felt about her.

"Can I stay here tonight Angel?" I thought about it for a moment. Our lives had been flipped and turned around because of that night she stayed with me. That's when she kissed me. I didn't want it to happen again; but she needed to be protected from Edward.

"Come on." I said, leading her up the flight of stairs into my bedroom. "I'll sleep on the couch," I said walking away. But Bella's hand held onto mine tightly.

"Stay, please." She begged. I gave in, and squeezed in behind he and held onto her freezing body as she drifted off into a peaceful slumber. _Oh, Bella, I love you. I need you to stay with me for the rest of my eternal life. Think me selfish, but I do. I wish that we could stay like this forever, never moving. My life is worth living with you my love._ I wanted so bad to tell her so, but I couldn't.

"You are selfish Angelus!" A dark voice said from the doorway. I sprang up- it was Edward. He had followed Bella by reaching her thoughts, and he was going to kill me. He leaped at me after I got out of the bed. I fell to the ground as Edward started to beat me. I punched him in the face and then in the gut as he doubled over. He got up with his hand on his stomach and started to hit me again. I twisted him arm back as he yelled out in agony. Bella woke up and screamed.

"ANGEL!" I let go of Edward. But then he started beating on me again

"You- don't- deserve her!" He said as he pushed me against the wall.

"What the hell makes you think you do you bastard?" I said pushing him away. He tried to push me again, but I pushed him back so hard that I broke the wall when his body hit it. "Leave Edward, now."


	17. Goodmorning just got greater

I woke up alone in Angel's bed. I knew that he didn't leave me or anything, so I got up and went downstairs to look for him. As I looked around for him, I heard him talking on the phone with someone. He was saying things like "Can you do it" and "get here fast then". He hung up the phone, and then saw me. He stood by the fireplace and said "Morning."

"Morning" I replied "Thanks for uh, last night." I said remembering about Edward

"Anytime." He said smiling. I noticed that his left eye was bruised by Edward.

"Angel, are you okay?" I asked getting closer to him

"Im fine Bella." He said putting up his hand

"Let me see," He unbuttoned his shirt to reveal blue and purple bruises scattered across his pale body. "Oh Angel," I said putting my hand over my mouth. It looked like a beautiful white sculpture that had been vandalized. I put my hand on one of the bruises on his perfectly sculpted chest. He winced, and I took my hand off. I quickly hugged him and his arms held onto me tightly. I looked deep into his eyes with regret. How could I have let Edward do that to him? I kissed his soft lips and melted in his arms. We kissed for a while longer, but to his surprise I pulled away. "I have to go. I can't let her see Edward if he's at the house, and I can take care of myself." I said picking up my phone. Angel left and came back with a piece of paper.

"Here," he said giving me the paper, "It's my phone number. If you ever need me, just call."

"Okay. I um, I have to go so," I gave him a kiss "Bye." He waved as I pulled back the curtain and made my way home. It was early morning outside, just like the weeks before when I left Angel's.

When I got home, Phil and Renee were not. The house looked fine, and so did my room. Without me here, Edward could have burnt it to the ground. I walked out onto the freshly mowed grass in my backyard. The breeze was slight and cool on my bare skin. I was still wearing my tank top and shorts that I wore to bed last night, in addition to flip-flops. I took a hesitant step toward the shed. I needed to talk to Edward about last night, either that or beat him to death (metaphorically). When I reached the shed, I opened up the door. Edward was nowhere to be seen; just a desk, a cot, and his backpack. For some reason, I hated being at my house, and alone at that. So I got a navy blue long-sleeved shirt and jeans on and headed for Spike's place. It was about six thirty in the morning, once again surprising that I was up so early. School started at eight, so I had some time to kill. I got to the back of the graveyard in about ten minutes, and lifted up the secret door and walked down the steps. I found Spike laying in his bed, asleep like a baby. You would think that he would be awake and watching his favorite soap opera, Passions, by now. I decided to raid his fridge because I was starving by the time I got there. Beer, scotch, wine, blood, beer, scotch, blood and surprisingly ice cream were all that was in his fridge. There were three empty boxes of wheat-a-bits on his table. _I thought vampires didn't eat,_ I thought. There was a bowl on the table to. It was filled to my disgust with blood and wheat-a-bits. _Ew_! I thought as my nose scrunched up. _I need a drink_, I thought taking out a bottle of wine from his fridge. I wasn't one of those teenagers who drank every time they saw alcohol, but I really needed a drink. I poured the wine into a glass and drank. It tasted funky. It was semi-sweet, and semi-bad. Nevertheless, I took another long sip. When I set the glass down it made a loud _klink_, which woke up the of course, naked Spike.

"'Ey! Get out of my wine stash girlie!" He said getting up.

"God Spike put some pants on!" I said putting my hand in front of my eyes.

"What, you don't like it? You sure did the other week…" He said getting closer to me.

"Spike!" I hit him playfully

"I think you've had too much to drink," he said taking away the wine bottle and glass "you're acting like a normal teenager."

"Are you calling me boring?" I said folding my arms

"What are you going to do about it?" He said getting even closer to me with that idiotic smile.

"Kill you if you don't put some pants on!" I said covering up my eyes once more

"Oh yes, hide you're blushing eyes." He said picking up a pair of black jeans and a belt. After he put his pants on, I looked at him again. "I thought that you would like to see all my bits and pieces. Heaven knows that you only come to me when you have an itch to scratch."

"Hey, that was _once_, and last time I just needed information." I said pointing my finger at his pale body.

"Well last time you snogged me." He said trying to 'snog' me on the lips. I pushed him away, but he held onto me from behind "What do you need now? Information or-" he tried to feel up my butt

"Neither Spike," I said pushing his hands away. "I just had some time to kill before school at eight." I said crossing my arms again

"So you came here to get drunk before school?" He said, his face getting bored

"Very funny. I'm not a drinker, I just, I just had a rough night last night and-"

"Well let me make your morning better." He said pushing me up against the wall. His lips crushed up against mine and then our mouths opened and so on. I know I said that I didn't come to Spike just to sleep with him, but this wasn't sleeping. I felt really bad every time I saw Spike because he was right. I only came to him when I had an itch to scratch; but he scratched it nevertheless. I put my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips. Then I heard the door open and someone come down the stairs.

"Spike I got more wheat-a-bits and-" I recognized that voice. To my horror, it was Edward's voice. I heard him drop the box onto the floor.

"Eddie, if you haven't already noticed," He said taking a breather "I'm kind of busy!" He said kissing me again. I took my hands and legs off of Spike and wiped my lips. "Damnit Eddie! You dropped the wheat-a-bits and made a whole bloody mess on the floor, and you made Bella go!"

"Damnit me Spike? You're the one who's macking on my girlfriend!" Edward said defensively. Somehow, Edward had become less evil overnight. He must have stayed at Spike's, Spike not knowing that Edward was my boyfriend.

"You're girlfriend?" He said looking at Edward and then at me

"I used to date him in Forks and I'm in a really bad place right now. I'm not really going out with anybody right now and you're the one who kissed me this time." I said "Edward, I'm sorry but I-" I had forgotten about the thing with Edward until he burst through the door moments earlier. Then I smiled as I walked over to Spike. "But I have a date with Spike tonight." I said putting my arm around Spike's neck. He put his hand around my waist. I knew that Spike knew that I was faking, but I said that I was going out with Spike tonight, so I decided that I actually would. Like I said, I felt horribly bad because Spike's relationship with me was only lust. I just used him. However, tonight I was going to give him a real chance at my heart. I made sure that imagining going out with Spike and the bits and pieces of my memory with sleeping with Spike reached Edward's mind, and that the lies didn't. Edward looked surprised and hurt at the same time, and then left-with the wheat-a-bits.


	18. Date

That night I followed up on my promise with Spike to go out with him. That whole day, Edward avoided me. I thought that he had ditched, but I saw his sparkling skin in gym class in the morning. Other than the fact that he was the only person with sparkly skin, I always knew that it was Edward because he looked like a fairy. I used to be totally in love with Edward, but now I hated him. He usually drove me to school, but out of anger, he obviously didn't. I told Spike that I would walk, but Spike insisted that he drove me. Papers and dirt to keep the sun out mostly covered his car. That's when I saw Edward. I rolled down the window enough so that the sun did not hit Spike, and so Edward could see me stick my tongue down Spike's throat. Edward kicked the brick wall, gave me a sad, angry look, and then walked away.

"God I love it when you use me!" Spike said happily, as he gave me another kiss.

"You know, I was serious about what I said in your place this morning. I'll meet you at your place tonight okay?"

"Yeah, cool." Spike said before he kissed me and I got out of the car. Spike could still see Edward and as I walked away, he yelled out "Edward! You owe me five dollars for the wheat-a-bits you cracker smashing bastard!" and then drove away.

I opened the trap door slowly and walked down the steps silently in a black tank top, black sweater, blue ballet flats, a sandy colored purse, and jeans. I saw Spike with his back to me, wearing a brown tweed suit.

"Bella, I um, I really like you and uh, I just um, I wanted to give you these." He said holding out a heart shaped box of chocolates to a dummy with a blonde-haired wig on it. "No!" He said putting the chocolates down and kicking the dummy. The dummy started to totter and he held it still. "Um, Bella, I really like you. I got you these," he said holding out the chocolates to the dummy once more. "And I wanted to know if you would like to have this dance." Then with a high, fruity voice said "Why yes Spike, I would love to dance with you!" Then he picked up the dummy and started twirling it. As he turned with the dummy in my direction, he spotted me laughing and dropped the dummy on the floor with a look on his face as if he peed his pants. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Ever since the mumbling part with the dummy." I laughed

"You sneaky son of a bitch!" He said suddenly getting angry

"Aw, you really shouldn't talk to your date like that. Aren't you going to give me chocolates?"I said, my blue ballet flats making taps as they touched the ground floor. He handed the heart shaped chocolate box over to me "Aw well isn't this _sweet_!" I said, "Get it, because chocolates are sweet? I am so _punny_! I got you a present too," I said reaching into my tan purse. I pulled out a box of wheat-a-bits with a red bow on it.

"Oh thank god!" He said hugging the cracker box

"Um, thank who?" I said crossing my arms

"Um, thank you, my sweet, sweet Bella." He said putting his arms around me "So what did you have planned for tonight love?" He asked. I had never thought that through. "Cause I have been watching Dirty Dancing all day and trying to memorize the dances." He said as I looked at the TV. I LOVED Patrick Swayze. I had all of his movies, his books, everything.

"Nothing in mind really. We could just dance and watch the movie if you want." I said starting to sway.

"Or we could-"

"No!" I said. I knew that Spike wanted to "shag" but I knew that the dancing thing was a cover up. "Unless you had anything planned, you can get out of your suit that you wore when you died." I said jokingly. It probably was not the one, but he sure did have it in the nineteenth century.

"Or I could take off my suit and then-"

"No!"

"Okay, okay!" He laughed as he started to take off his shirt.

"I need to talk to you about what you said in the car today."

"You do now?" He said taking off his pants

"You said that you loved it when I used you. I don't use you I just-" I caught a glimpse of Spike's butt. I know that it sounds weird, but it was really nice. I snapped out of it and looked away as Spike noticed me blushing. "It's just like friends with benefits, that one time." I said

"Well then I love being your friend with benefits that one time," He said buckling his belt. "And don't say that you didn't love it, because that's bullocks." He said getting chest to chest with me.

"I'll think about it, but we have to have a real date first." I said

"Well, I don't have any music, so I'll just have to hum. Hum, hum hum hum hum!" He hummed

"Well it's a good think I brought my mp3 player and speakers." I said backing away and reaching into my purse. I pulled it out, plugged it in, and hit shuffle as Spike put his hands around my waist. A drum started to beat from the speakers as Spike tried to squeeze my butt. "Do that one more thing and I won't even consider sleeping with you Spike." He laughed as his hand went back to my waist. Suddenly, I knew what song it was. It was Do you wanna touch me by Gary Glitter. I quickly tried to change it, knowing that it would get Spike even hornier, which seemed impossible, but Spike kept me in his arms.

We've been here to long tryin' to get along, pretending that your oh so shy,

"That sounds like us." Spike smiled. Suddenly he pushed everything off of his table and sat me down on it. He started to kiss me all over as the chorus line, which ironically was perfect for the situation, played.

Do you wanna touch (yeah), do you wanna touch (yeah), Do you wanna touch me there? (yeah, oh yeah)

I loved Spikes lips touching every single visible inch of my skin, but I didn't want our relationship to just be sed. I was happy that Spike knew that I wasn't trying to use him like the last girl did, but it made me feel guilty, and it made me feel like I was cheating on Angel.

"Spike, you're uh," Spike kissed me on the lips and then making a trail to my stomach, not paying attention to me "Spike you're wheat-a-bits are on the floor you might, uh, you might, oh god that feels good-I mean uh," I said as Spike started kissing me deeper and more passionate. "don't you wanna get those off the-"

"Only if your pants are wheat-a-bits," He said taking a breather

"Yeah okay!" I said giving in and crushing my lips against his. I needed his lips against mine, locked and unmoving. I had to have him close to me. This turned from lust to love that moment. "Spike?" He looked up at me "Do you love me?"

"I don't know if anyone could love you more then I have since the moment I saw you."


	19. Fight

I left Spike's place at eleven o'clock, because my mom would know what I was doing, or get worried. He drove me home, before giving me a kiss goodbye. When I got in, my mom asked why the car was blacked out.

"Um, he doesn't use his car a lot, and it gets really dirty." I said

"Oh, well maybe you could help him wash it on a date! You know they have a sale on bikinis at Target,"

"Mom, I'm not wearing a bikini, and he uh, he has classes during the day. So, we can't really wash his car and stuff,"

"So what did you guys do?"

"Uh, nothing much." I lied. We had sex three times in a row. I was really sore.

"Bella, I know that you are getting older. You are going to be nineteen soon," oh no, it was the worst talk a mother and daughter could have. "And, things have been getting pretty serious with this Spike. I want him to come to dinner on Sunday!" _Oh, thank god!_ I was so relieved.

"Um, I'll see. What time?"

"Mhm, around six, six thirty." She said moving her hand around

"How about seven thirty?" I thought, knowing that the sun would still be up a little at six.

"Uh, yeah, okay. Is he a vegetarian?" She served a lot of meat. She couldn't go a day without it

"No."

"Great! Well, I'm going to pick up Phil at the bar. He and the guys drank too much after the game." She laughed

"Okay, well promise me that you won't drink anything!"

"Scouts honor!" She said saluting her cowboy hat and then leaving

"Bye!" I said going up to my room. I opened the door and found Edward lying on my bed. I made sure that I cleared my head, and then pushed him off of it.

"What the hell was that for?" He said getting up

"You know what it was for! First you get pissed at me because I slept with Spike, then you go over there to spend the night after you tried to RAPE ME? I met two AMAZING people in twenty-four hours Edward! My head feels like it's going to explode because I can't stop thinking about Spike or Angel or you! But after what you did last night, you can get out of the equation and my room!"I yelled in a fury. Edward looked at me with agonizing eyes.

"Bella, I-"

"LEAVE!"

"I GOT MY SOUL TAKEN AWAY AND THEN ANGEL AND WILLOW RESTORED IT! I WASN'T EDWARD UNTIL THREE O'CLOCK! I LOVE YOU BELLA AND YOU KNOW THAT THE EDWARD WITH A SOUL WOULD NEVER WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU UNLESS WE WERE MARRIED!" He yelled at what seemed like an earsplitting volume

"REALLY? BECAUSE YOU WERE STILL ANGRY AT ME FOR HAVING FEELINGS AND HORMONES! I MET TWO WONDERFUL VAMPIRES IN TWENTY FOR HOURS-NO, SIXTEEN HOURS, AND YOU EXPECT ME TO STILL LOVE YOU?"

"Yes." He said folding his arms. I laughed and then pushed him

"YOU LEFT ME EDWARD-IN A FOREST! I WAS LOST FOR FIVE HOURS AND CHARLIE HAD TO SEND OUT A SEARCH PARTY BECAUSE OF YOU! IF YOU WANTED TO PROTECT ME, THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED, BECAUSE LAURANT ALMOST KILLED ME AND SO DID VICTORIA. I GOT SENT HERE BECAUSE OF YOU! IF YOU LOVED ME THEN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO STUPID!" I yelled slapping him. He looked at me with furious, hungry eyes. And this is going to sound horrible, but that was how I learned about anger sex. I know that it's horrible that I have feelings for Spike and Angel, and that Spike said that he loved me, and that Spike had just slept with me, but like I said, I met two wonderful vampires in less than twenty four hours and then Edward came back into the equation. There went Edward's virginity.


	20. Giles

"Edward, I thought that you wouldn't have sex with me." I said laying beside Edward in my bed

"Well, while Angel and Willow were explaining to me why my soul was gone, by the way, it was because of the Hellmouth, they said that the Hellmouth does weird stuff to you. That was my weird stuff." He laughed

"So you're not angry at me because of the whole Spike thing?" I asked playing with his fingers.

"Just don't bring him up." He said kissing my forehead

"Um, then you're gonna be angry at me, or rather my mom." I said turning away

"Why?" He asked putting his arm around me

"Because she uh, she invited him over for Sunday dinner." I squeaked.

"Oh…I don't know how to respond to that." He said turning away to think, "So I'm guessing I should eat earlier on Sunday." He said. Edward always pretended to eat small portions of food.

"I um, I don't know. I mean, you're not really my boyfriend and neither is Spike. You can come if you want to I guess." I said playing with the ring on my index finger

"I think I'll just stay in the shed." He said giving me a kiss on the back of the shed. I could sense his eyes staring at my neck.

"What?" I said turning to him. His face was expressionless. "Edward?" I got up and looked at my neck in the mirror. There was a parade of hickeys on my neck. I looked like a giraffe. _Oh shit_ I thought

"Where were you before you came up to your room at eleven?" He asked getting up. I put my hand up to my neck.

"I was just um," I could see Edward looking at my naked pale body. It was not pale anymore; it was red and purple from my 'date' with Spike.

"You were with Spike weren't you? See now, I thought that you would only do that once. I thought that you didn't remember because you ended up in the hospital. But you obviously didn't remember that I loved you and that I thought you would stop sleeping with him! I thought that for one moment that you loved me again, and for one moment, I didn't regret sleeping with you. How could you betray me?" He said putting his pants and blue shirt on. He left and slammed the door to my room. I cried myself to sleep. I couldn't move the whole next day because I was so sore. I even forged a note in gym class so that I wouldn't have to change in front of everyone and expose my hickeys, or run five laps. Edward drove me to school, but did not speak to me. He was cold and bitter to me all day. I thought that I would be relieved because it was Friday, but I wasn't. I still had to tell Spike about Sunday, I had to show up on Sunday, and Edward kept on avoiding me. But, something weird happened to me during afterschool when I had to return a book to the library. The librarian gave me a book about vampires.

"Hi, hello?" I called out the vacant library. "Is anybody here?" I looked behind the front desk. As I turned around to leave, I bumped into the librarian, Mr. Giles.

"Can I help you?" He asked in a British accent. That made me think of Spike _Damn get out of my head!_

"I need to return and check out a book." I smiled pathetically

"I know exactly what you need!" He said putting a big, old brown book on the desk. It said Vampyr.

"I already am involved with three of those so," I quickly put my hand over my mouth so that I would let anything else slip out.

"Is one of them named Angel?" He asked. I nodded. "Come with me." He said leading me into his office. "Do you know what vampires are? Well, you obviously do so-"

"Bella you in here?" a voice said. I turned around and saw Spike with s blanket around him to block him from the sun.

"Spike?" Mr. Giles said.

"You know Spike?" I asked

"You!" Spike pointed at the librarian. His blanket came off and then he started to burn "AH! DAMNIT GILES! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SHADE ALL OF THE WINDOWS THREE YEARS AGO!"

"Well excuse me for not having enough money to cover up every single window Spike!" Mr. Giles said putting his hands on his hips.

"Hold on!" I said getting between them "How do you know him Mr. Giles?"

"You may call me Giles Bella." He said smiling "Spike was one of the two vampires Buffy dated, refused to kill, and slept with. Only an idiot would do that. I told Buffy that she was being a very stupid girl. I mean, only an imbecile would sleep with Spike!" I looked down and Spike did the same laughing.

"Lemme guess, she's the new Slayer? God do Slayers just love to sleep with me or what?" Spike laughed. I hit him in the chest and pulled the blanket off his body

"Oh…" Giles looked uncomfortable "Well, she _is_ the new Slayer. Did you-"

"And Angel. She knows everything." Spike said putting the blanket over his body again.

"So do I-"

"Just leave it to me." Spike said putting his hand behind my back. It slid to my butt and I hit him

"Stop it Spike!" I squealed

"Make me!" He said playfully

"Or I will if you don't leave now Spike!" He stopped touching me and Giles gave me his phone number "If you ever have any questions or anything, just call me or come here." He smiled before Spike and I left.

"Oh yeah Spike, on Sunday I um, I need you to be a college student who has a lot of classes." I said getting into his car

"The bloody hell why?" He cocked up an eyebrow

"Because my mom invited you to dinner…"

"Bella! What in the bloody hell were you thinking?"

"It'll be after sunset and you don't have to eat much. It would be sort of weird if you didn't show up either." I said as he started to drive

"Fine, but I'm not gonna act like im Mr. Golly-gee-whiz. This is a onetime thing right?"

"Right. This is why I love you!" I said before giving him a kiss and going into the house.


	21. Buffy's Back

"Willow!" I searched around the house

"Over here!" I heard her call out from my secret room. I pushed on the door and saw Willow sitting around some candles and a spell book.

"What are you working on?" I said crouching beside her

"I'm working on a spell to find the new slayer, wherever in the world she is." She closed her eyes and then opened them again "Ooh! I found her! She has long brown hair, a pale body, and ew, a bunch of hickeys! She also has a bite mark on her right arm and on each side of her neck." _Oh no_, I thought _Bella._ "Angel, oh my god. She's living in Buffy's old house!"

Suddenly my phone started to ring. I flipped it open "Hello?"

"Hey Angel, it's Bella."

"Hey…" I said walking out of the secret room

"Could I-"

"You are always welcome here Bella." I said, expecting her to ask if she could come over

"Can I bring a friend?" She said, her voice getting higher

"Um, it depends who your friend is."

"Actually, it's two friends, but you'll know both of them. And I promise they are just tagging along."

"Okay, I'll see you soon."

"Um, I love you…" there was her saying the l word again. I never knew how to respond to that. I knew how I felt, but I could never tell her.

"Um, yeah. Bye." I quickly closed my phone shut and walked back to Willow. "Hey, can you move all of your witch stuff? I'm going to be having company."

"You have company?" Willow looked surprised "No offense, but I didn't know that you had any like, friends other than the Scoobies, and we all moved away.

"Yeah, um, they'll be here soon so,"

"Replace!" Willow said moving her hand toward her candles and spell books. They put themselves back and she walked out of the room with me.

"You know, we never got time to catch up with each other. You didn't tell me about your hair," I said sitting on the couch and eyeing her shoulder-length hair

"Don't you have company coming?" She said sitting beside me

"Well, they have to walk here so-" Then we heard tires screeching to a halt outside, and footsteps coming into the house.

"Bella?" I called out

"Hey Angel!" she said walking into the room wearing a white v-neck and jeans

"How did you get here so fast?" However, her 'friend' answered the question. Spike and Edward were in tow "Oh crap!"

"Angel, that's the girl I saw as the slayer-oh crap, now I know why she has hickeys!" Willow said getting up. "She's with Spike-wait she's with Spike?"

"It's nice to see you too girlie." Spike smiled sarcastically. I sighed and right when I opened my mouth, Edward came forward.

"I'm very sorry about your face and the other night. It was unlike me. I promise that it will never happen again." Edward said as I backed away

"Bella, could I talk to you in private?" I asked. She nodded and I led her upstairs. We entered my room and she sat down on the bed. "You slept with Spike again?" I scolded her "Remember what happened last time? You ended up in the hospital. Every time you see me, you tell me either you love me or ask me what I feel about you. You need to decide how you feel about one of the three of us before I tell you how I feel about you." I said before walking away.

"Angel wait! That's not what I came here for, and you know it." She yelled following me

"Then what for? To rub the same love triangle me and Spike had with Buffy in my face?" I asked angrily "I have been through this before Bella! I got my soul taken away, Buffy almost died, I died, I went through hell literally… and at least Buffy had the decency to sleep with Spike when I was gone for a few months!"

"Do you want to know what really happened?" She said holding onto my arm. I put my hands on my hips "I decided to give Spike a real chance and to go out on a date with me because I felt like I was using him. He's the one who is always feeling me up! And actually Angel, it's a love _square_!"

"I knew that it wasn't just a coincidence that you fell in love with me and then fall for Spike! You're the slayer aren't you?" I asked, already knowing the answer. She nodded. "Come with me."

"Hey, you're the guy I did the spell on!" I heard Willow say to Edward

"Willow!" I said reaching the bottom of the stairs "You were right. She's the new Slayer."

"I'm still very confused. I knew that she was the slayer when she knew you and Spike but-," Willow said

"_Don't_- Push it Willow."I glared

"_But_, wouldn't Buffy still be the slayer. Unless she's-oh god what if she's dead!" Willow started to panic

"She's not dead Willow, I assure you."

"I don't think I'm dead." A familiar, light voice sang. "I would hope I'm alive." It was Buffy

"Buffy? Is that really you?" I asked getting closer to her

"I hitched a ride from Maine all the way here after I saw you Angel. I kept thinking of ways to come back here after I moved away, but I stopped trying after a few years. But when I saw you and kissed you the other week, I-I just got the will to try again." She said with a few tears coming down her cheeks. I hugged her warm body and never wanted to let go. It had been too long since I had held her, felt her warmth, or her arms around me. I melted into her arms, not caring if I died the next moment. I just wanted Buffy. Bella had escaped my thoughts and memories, as everyone else in the room but Buffy and me.

"Buffy?" Spike said, snapping us out of the moment "I would ask if that was really you, but the poof already did." I hated it when he called me that. I had more women in both of my lives than Spike could ever _imagine thinking_ of! So just to spite him, I kissed Buffy again. Spike snorted. "Oh, and thanks for telling me you were LEAVING after I left you about TWENTY SEVEN MESSAGES!"

"Hello to you too Spike." Buffy said

"Ahem…" Willow hinted

"Willow!" Buffy said running over to her old best friend, and hugging her "Where have you been?"

"You know, around. So you've been in Maine. That must be-"

"Freezing, isolated, creepy. But, my mom can't keep me there my whole life. But, I'm also here for something else." She said turning to Bella "The slayer. Heaven knows that I have been there too many times to count. Bella came when a car hit me. And yes, I'm okay; being me."

"Um, I wasn't sent here." Bella said

"Actually you were. Isn't it just a coincidence that you moved to Sunnydale even though your mom and Phil were living in Jacksonville? Or that you have suddenly been less clumsy and faster? This all happened on purpose Bella."

"How do you know about my parents and where they lived?"

"Because I'm your cousin on your mom's side. Your mom didn't tell you her maiden name did she?" Bella shook her head "Her maiden name is Summers, and her sister's name is Joyce. Joyce is my mom, who told your mom everything." Buffy explained "The slayer council was informed again that I was alive and said that I should come back to Sunnydale to help Giles with Bella."

"So how did your mom not figure out that you left?" Willow asked

"Decoy Buffy. Thank you very much Spike." Buffy said turning to Spike. Once upon a time, Spike had a Buffy doll or something. I didn't want to ask, so I only heard that much.

"So that's where it went…" Spike

"Well, we best get to training Bella. So, I'm headed over to Giles's. Anyone want to come along?" Buffy asked. Everyone went out the door

"Field trip!" Spike said putting a fist in the air.


	22. Bad Birthday

PLEASE READ: DUE TO STORY PURPOSES, I MADE BELLA'S BIRTHDAY IN JUNE, AND SHE'S BECOMING A SENIOR NOW. THE BIRTHDAY PARTY INCIDENT WITH JASPER _DID_ HAPPEN. ALSO, SPIKE _DID NOT_ GET THE CHIP IN HIS HEAD, AND DAWN HAPPENED, BUT WAS THEN TAKEN AWAY. I ALSO DIDN'T REALLY SEE THE NEED FOR RENEE'S HUSBAND PHIL, AND HE DIDN'T TAKE PART IN ANYTHING, SO HE'S OUT OF THE PICTURE ALSO. IN ADDITION, AFTER A FEW MORE CHAPTERS, I AM STARTING ANOTHER BOOK, EXACTLY LIKE THIS. EVERY CHAPTER OF THE NEW BOOK, ENTITLED BELLA THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, WILL BE AN "EPISODE" I WILL INFORM YOU WHEN THIS HAPPENS. THANK YOU ALL AND REVIEW!

The training Buffy and Giles put me through was grueling. I had to practice every day; from eight in the morning until six at night because school had ended. When I told my mom about my being a slayer with Giles and Buffy, she didn't freak out-like at all. It was as if she expected it. Buffy said that she didn't tell anybody about the council's slayers, but it was unusual. My mom even offered to help me with the slayage. I politely declined of course, it would be pretty weird if your mom was helping you kill vampires; and as Buffy and everyone else has informed me, demons, monsters, werewolves, and every single thing that went bump in the night and that was under your bed, but by the light of day you said was nothing more.

The only time I had off was on my birthday. I was turning eighteen, and I hoped to god that my mom wouldn't remember; and if she did, not to plan a birthday party. Last time I had a birthday party; it ended in Edward leaving me, and a broken piano.

I thought that birthdays were supposed to be good, but I was super tired even though I slept in, and when I put my clothes on this morning, my breasts were really sore. My mom knocked on the door, and she said to put on something nice, and then come down for breakfast. So, I put on a white tank top and a frilly skirt. When I walked down the stairs, I could already smell the pancakes being cooked. I loved the smell of pancakes, but right when my foot touched the kitchen floor, I ran for the sink.

"Bella? Are you okay?" My mom asked as I was over the sink. I guess the whole PUKING MY GUTS OUT did not spell out that I wasn't okay enough for her.

"No mom, I'm just peachy!" I said sarcastically before leaning over the sink again.

"Bella, you don't have to be so mean about it!" My mom said, trying to comfort the moody-me. After I brushed my teeth, I got a stomachache. I asked my mom for some Advil, but that didn't help. I looked around for my phone so I could make sure that I didn't disappoint Charlie by not answering his "happy-birthday" call. But, everywhere I looked, my phone wasn't. I picked up the home phone and called my cell phone to see if I had dropped it somewhere, but it didn't ring. Around twelve, my mom called out to me from the backyard "Bella, I found your phone!"

"Coming!" I said. On the way down the stairs, my slayer-powers didn't kick in, and I fell down onto the floor. My mom didn't see thank goodness; whenever I get a bruise she thinks that she needs to call 911.

When I entered the backyard, there were tables of food, cake, and presents. _Oh shit,_ I thought _she talked to Alice!_ Right when I picked up my phone off of one of the tables, I heard a jumbled of "Surprise!"'s from Angel, Buffy, Edward, Spike, Emmet, Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Alice, and my mom, who badly hid behind the tables. Well, Angel and Edward just kneeled, and then got up super fast. Buffy and Spike and my mom were the only people who jumped

I heard Spike just jump out and say "Sup-oh this is stupid!"

"It's not stupid Spike!" I heard a familiar voice ring. It was Alice of course. She had the rest of the Cullens with her. Rosalie looked even angrier than last year.

"She's angry because there are even more vampires here, Buffy is here, and you're the slayer." Edward whispered in my ear "Happy eighteenth birthday my love…" Edward said giving me a kiss on my forehead.

"Happy birthday Bells!" Buffy said giving me a hug. Everyone else did the same, except for-Spike

"I got the best present for you!" Spike said whisking me away without anybody noticing

"Spike, no way, not here, not now, not until my mind stops rearranging itself." I said, knowing what Spike was going to say

"Tempting, but that's not what I was going to say." Spike said surprisingly "Here," Spike said handing me the wine bottle I had drank out of.

"Um, thanks?" I said taking it in my hands and then hiding it.

"Now here's the best part!" Spike said kissing my lips. I always smelled cigarette smoke and liquor on his breath, but this made me sick to my stomach. I leaned over and started puking again. Everyone rushed over to look. _They want to see me vomit on my birthday. What jerks! It's my birthday, and I can puke if I want to!_ I thought

"Well Spike, this shows what Bella really thinks about your kissing." Buffy said pushing people away from me, giving me air.

"I'm okay, I'm okay…" I said wiping my mouth and stepping back into the main part of the back yard. I started to have a terribly bad craving for cheese, so I rushed into the house and took what looked like a pound of brick cheese, and ate it all. Edward rushed to my side with a concerned look on his face.

"You know, there is a cake outside." He said as I ate more cheese "Um, Bella, I don't think that's healthy. It's not like you're eating for two people. Um, are you feeling okay? You know what, I'll go get Carlisle."

That's when it hit me: _mood swings, dizziness, morning sickness, sensitivity to smells, cravings, headaches, and fatigue. Could I be pregnant?_ I thought, a safe distance from Edward. I then had the sudden urge to pee, so I ran up to the bathroom. Then I got sick, again. After I brushed and washed my hands one thousand times, I emerged from the bathroom and into my room. That's when I heard the knock on my door. "Bella? It's Carlisle." I opened the door and let him in. "Edward tells me that you've been feeling bad all day."

"Yeah. At first I thought that I had just eaten something bad but, Carlisle, can I ask you something secretive?" I said looking at Edward out the window, then at Spike.

"Of course. You are like a daughter to me." Carlisle said putting his hands together

"Carlisle, I think I'm pregnant."


	23. BirthDay

Carlisle's face should have been chocked, sad, or frightened, but it was still calm. I know that I sure as hell was not calm.

"Is that possible Carlisle?" I said getting closer to him

"Well, I suppose so. Women vampires cannot because their bodies are frozen, therefore are not able to support or change for a child's needs. But, you are a human, and I suspect that you broke Edward's shield of purity." I didn't even smile on the inside when Carlisle said that. I knew that he was trying to lighten up the mood, but it didn't work. "Well, I would advise to look in your mother's bathroom or at the local store for a pregnancy test first. If it comes out positive, you know that I am always here for you, and I could help you tell your mother." I nodded, then he left the room. I knew in the back of my mind that I was surely pregnant, but I needed to make sure. So, I searched around Mom's room for pregnancy tests. I found one, used it, and then waited a couple of minutes. I picked up the test. I could not look; I don't think I would live if I did. However, there it was: pregnant. In big, bold, black digital letters. I started to sob. Just then, I heard someone come up the stairs and knock on the door. I didn't close the door all the way, so it opened within the first knock.

"Bella why aren't you-Bella?" Alice said, her face melting from a smile into a frown as she rushed over to the tear-stricken me. "Bella, what's wrong?" Alice said making me sit up and rubbing my back. I sobbed a little bit, and she waited until I could speak

"Alice, you're my best friend, but I can't-tell-you. I just can't!" I sobbed

"Of course you can Bella; you're like a sister to me! I will not tell anyone! Come on! Tell me!" Alice said trying to smile.

"No, I can't, you would hate me!" I sobbed as I lay my head on her shoulder

"I could never hate you Bella." Alice said

"But, I did something horrible, and I don't know about you, but Edward would _never_ forgive me!" I said looking up at her golden eyes

"Yes he would! You both love each other! He moves, you move, he does anything you want, and vice versa. I wouldn't be surprised if you got married after you graduated and had a baby!" I sobbed harder when she said baby.

"Edward thought that Spike had killed me because you had a vision, right? And then he came to stay in the shed?" She nodded her head "Well, something happened after, and me and Edward fought, and then we um- but, we were protected and I made sure." She cocked her head, and then she somehow sensed what I was hinting out. I had been on the pill ever since my mom heard about Edward. She ordered Charlie to get me a prescription. "And it was long time ago

"Oh Bella, Edward told me that. Just me and Carlisle though, he said that you two worked it out." Alice smiled

"That's not the worst part though." I said starting to sniffle as my tears died down "Alice, I'm, I'm pregnant." Alice's face seemed sad, but happy and understanding

"Oh Bella." She said as I hugged her tight "It's alright, it will be just fine! Hey!" She said getting up "I'm going to be an aunt! Oh, we have to start picking out baby names, and cribs, and oh Bella! I love you! So, wipe off your tears, come back down to the party, and I'll stay after to help you tell Edward!" She said before jumping down the stairs. I wiped my face clean of tears, and then looked out my window. Alice hugged Edward, and I could see that she said that Edward was a very lucky man. Edward asked why, and then she said that she wasn't telling.

The party lasted for about another hour. I got a video camera from my mom, a makeup kit from Alice, a pair of earrings and a necklace from Emmet and Rosalie, chocolate and flowers from Carlisle and Esme, a box of band-aids from Jasper, and a book from Buffy. I told everyone thanks for the party and presents, and then returned to the side of the house to get the wine that Spike had given me. Then I felt a hand on my back. I quickly put the bottle down and turned around. It was Alice.

"You know, you really shouldn't be drinking while you're pregnant, or when you're eighteen." She giggled as I tried to shush her

"Alice, I still really never told you the real problem in my room." I said as we leaned against the brick of the house "I am really happy that I'm having a baby, but," I started to whisper and Alice leaned in "Something else happened before, and after Edward got here. I-I slept with Spike." Alice gasped, "I know that sounds horrible, but I was angry at Edward, and Spike just has this hypnosis over me. But, I don't know how to tell Edward or Spike! I don't even know who the father is!" I started to cry again. "Alice, what am I going to do?"

"Okay, um, let's think." Alice said looking up at the sky "Did you ever use protection when you and Spike-"

"No." I lowered my head to the ground

"Okay, uh, well, who do you think would make the better father?" Alice asked

"I, I don't know. Edward seems good, but Spike is really fun and I think that it would be fun to see what he would be like if he were a dad." I started to lighten up

"Well then, start thinking up who you think is better, and then I'll help you tell Edward-I MEAN whoever you think is suitable!" She let the word Edward slip out.

"Bella! Come inside! It's going to rain!" My mom yelled from inside

"I'll talk to you soon, okay?" Alice asked. I nodded my head and then went inside.

I don't think I would be able to chose. It was almost as complicated as before, only I didn't sleep with Angel. _Oh god, he would be the perfect dad!_ I thought. Then I remembered, he couldn't even tell me how he felt, and he wouldn't be related to the baby whatsoever. I needed to get my mind off of fathers, and focus on the baby; and how to tell my mom. I quickly picked up the phone and dialed Alice's number.

"Who did you pick?" She said expectantly

"I need you to tell my mom, and I'm going to test out Spike first." I decided

"Okay, I'll tell your mom, and she won't even suspect that it couldn't be Edward's. She'll think it's his because I'm his sister, piece of cake!" Alice said

"That's why I love you."

"I'll be there in a sich."

My mom cried at first, but then; just like Alice, she started thinking about baby names, and clothes, and food, and I told her that I needed to get to bed. I got up to my room, and then saw a note on my bed. I opened it, and it read:

Dear Bella,

Here is your answer: I can't decide. I think that time will be the judge. I love you, I do, so very much, but I want you to have a good life and choose the right person, whoever that may be.

Angel

I sighed and then cried myself to sleep; crying about, Edward, Angel, Spike, and my child.


	24. End

My alarm went off at six in the morning. I got up, but didn't leave my room. It became my citadel. My mom tried to get me out of my room for hours, but nothing worked. I started to only come out of my room when she was at work, and when I needed to eat or go to the bathroom. But then she reverted to a thing she did when I was a child. She would sing a song and I would always come out of my room.

"Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?  
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day.  
The sun is up, the sky is blue,  
It's beautiful and so are you  
Dear Prudence won't you come out to play?

"Dear Prudence open up your eyes.  
Dear Prudence see the sunny skies.  
The wind is low the birds will sing,  
That you are part of everything. Dear Prudence won't you open up your eyes?"

"Look around round, round,  
Look around round, round,  
Oh look around."

"Dear Prudence let me see you smile.  
Dear Prudence like a little child.  
The clouds will be a daisy chain,  
So let me see you smile again.  
Dear Prudence won't you let me see you smile?"

"Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?  
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day.  
The sun is up, the sky is blue,  
It's beautiful and so are you.  
Dear Prudence won't you come out to play?"

I opened up my door with a smile on the inside, but a frown on the out.

"Well, at least I got you to open your door!" My mom said stepping in as I opened the door a little more. "Bella, you can't be so gloomy! You have always known that I would support you, and that Edward would support you," When she said 'Edward', it was like a stab to my baby bump. That was the other weird thing, it had only been about a week, and I already had a fairly- big baby bump forming.

"You know what, I'm um, I'm gonna take a walk." I said looking through my closet for clothes.

"Okay, well, make sure to watch your step and come home for lunch or whenever you or the baby gets hungry!"She said before closing the door.

You probably don't have to guess where I went. Angel was like my best friend now, only I had a huge crush on him and I cried myself to sleep over him a few times-okay three times, but anyway; he always had the best advice, and I knew that he would keep my secret about the baby. There were still more things that I did not understand. How could I have such a big baby bump when I had only been pregnant for a week or so? As I was walking down the street and pondering up conclusions, I felt a kick from my stomach. The baby was kicking. It actually made me smile. I could somehow imagine it. If it were a girl, I somehow knew that it would have blonde hair and blue eyes, and if it were a boy, sandy colored hair and dark blue eyes.

"Hey Bella." Angel greeted me

"Hey. I need you to do something for me." I said, the baby starting to kick again

"Anything." He said getting up

"Feel my stomach." My feelings of abandonment, sadness, and being afraid were totally gone. I was beyond happy. I pulled up my shirt and he put his hand on my belly. He quickly withdrew his hand.

"What the hell was that?" He asked

"I'm pregnant." I got scared for a moment, not knowing how Angel would take it, due to the fact I was dating Spike and Edward and him.

"You're pregnant?" He looked disappointed. He turned his back to me. "Well," then he turned around with the biggest smile on his face I had ever seen. "YOU'RE GOING TO BE A MOM!" He lifted me up in the air and swung me around.

"Whoa," I said, thinking about the baby

"Oh, sorry." He said setting me down. Then somehow spontaneously, we kissed again

"Um, I'm breaking Edward's promise." I said, reluctantly pulling away.

"Screw promises. I love you more than anything in the world Bella, and I couldn't imagine being without you."

AAAAAAAAAH LAST CHAPTER! YES, THERE WILL BE A NEW BOOK/SPINOFF OF THE SAME ORIGIN, ALL ABOUT BELLA BEING THE SLAYER AND HER BABY. I AM CURRENTLY STARTING ON IT, AND I WILL POST IT SOON. THANK YOU!


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